Write about the following topic: In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Despite international
tourism
has been a relevant income for the economy of a vast of countries, it has
also
produced negative effects. I personally consider that drawbacks
such
as gentrification, and the loss of biodiversity surpass the benefits of international
tourism
.
Firstly
, the process of gentrification is evident in different poor or developed countries
due to
the presence of a lot of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
. Indeed, tourists that prefer to visit countries with a low economic capacity, generally generate that the prices of necessities
such
as food, clothes, transportation, and even houses increase.
As a result
, many citizens do not have the capacity to afford those products or services, and
therefore
they have to leave the
place
that used to be their home.
For instance
, in the
last
years, heaps of cities in Latin America have been experiencing
this
phenomenon, and the local people have had to change not only the
place
they used to live, but
also
their gastronomy, and activities that they no longer can perform.
Moreover
, diverse natural places that are famous and are constantly visited by international people are not protected.
Therefore
, those ecosystems that are not cosseted, after so many visitors begin to accumulate pollution, that even the fauna and the flora no longer find a habitat like a
place
where they can live,
then
they extinct. As an example, there are some Mexican beaches that are worldwide known for their crystalline water,
however
, nowadays the number of waste like cans, boxes, and especially plastic in both the water and sand makes it difficult to enjoy the
place
, and be the home of different species.
To conclude
, social problems generated
as a result
of the presence of great quantities of
tourism
, and the lack of ecological
tourism
overlook the possible advantages of international
tourism
.
Submitted by jennifergamboa254 on

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Introduction
Make sure the introduction clearly presents the topic of the essay and your standpoint. The introduction in this essay lacks clarity and doesn't effectively present the thesis statement.
Body Paragraphs
Develop clear paragraphing with topic sentences that introduce the main idea for each paragraph followed by supporting sentences and a conclusive statement. This essay has paragraphing but could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more comprehensive development.
Conclusion
The conclusion needs to clearly summarize the main points of the essay and restate your opinion. Your conclusion in this essay is concise but could reinforce the arguments made in the body more effectively.
Coherence and Linking
For coherence, it's essential to organize ideas logically and use cohesive devices effectively. This essay shows attempts at logical organization, but the use of cohesive devices is limited, affecting the overall flow.
Task Response
In terms of task response, make sure to address all parts of the task and provide a balanced discussion if required. This essay leans heavily towards the disadvantages and doesn't fully explore or refute the potential benefits of international tourism.
Lexical Resource & Grammatical Range
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to clearly present and support your ideas. While your essay features relevant vocabulary, greater variety and accuracy could improve the quality of the response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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