Whether immigrants should adopt the local culture has emerged as one of the most debated topics in recent decades. Some people believe they should change to keep up with a new country, while others believe keeping their own unique characteristics is the best way. In this essay, I will discuss both views and support the latter one.

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Immigrant issues have become a contentious social problem within 10 years. Some citizens

support

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that

immigrants

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are responsible for adopting the local

culture

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while

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their opposers are against

this

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opinion and present their own views, that outsiders need to keep their special characteristic

traits

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This

Linking Words

essay deliberates both two views, and I will give my

reason

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why

support

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the latter

one

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. On the

one

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hand, learning and adapting to local

culture

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is a better way to avoid conflict problems between

immigrants

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and local

people

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This

Linking Words

is because if a human does not have any wish to understand new things (e.g.,

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, language, and so on) from outsiders, it certainly is easy to happen

any

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in any

show examples

argument cases

due to

Linking Words

cultural differences. Sometimes, it even escalates into violent crime.

For instance

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, early in Singapore, there were a quite number of criminal cases that came from the difference of religion.

Therefore

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, avoiding violent cases has become a major

reason

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why an increasing number of

individuals

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have decided to

support

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the importance of new

immigrants

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learning local

culture

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On the other hand

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one

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significant disadvantage of adopting local

culture

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is that it may cause the disappearance of cultural

diversity

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since with the number of

people

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who use it decreases, some unique and valuable minority

culture

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factors (e.g., language,

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, festival celebration) are going to disappear.

For example

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, the HaNi

people

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are a minority in China, unfortunately, these

people

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's language will be endangered, as more and more young

people

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do not use their mother tongue;

hence

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, avoiding the disappearance of cultural

diversity

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is a primary

reason

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why

individuals

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believe that

immigrants

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are responsible to protect their

traits

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Furthermore

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, I absolutely

support

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the second statement, that

individuals

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need to protect their uniqueness, as cultural

diversity

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is a meaningful thing for human history, and these things can provide abundant materials for humanists to research and educate the next generation. Ergo,

individuals

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' distinctive

traits

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have a special value for the human future. In conclusion,

according to

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the argument that whether

immigrants

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need to adapt to local

culture

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or develop their personality

traits

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, different viewers have opposite opinions about it. decreasing conflict events is the major

reason

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for most of the supporters who believe outsiders need to learn local

culture

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However

Linking Words

, their opponents believe that cultural

diversity

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is indicative of human history, and

immigrants

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are responsible for protecting it by keeping their unique

traits

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. Personally, I

also

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support

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the latter

one

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lyutingting520Sun Nov 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the logical progression of your essay by connecting your paragraphs and ideas more clearly. Use cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'therefore,' and 'for instance' appropriately to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Present a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly outline the points that will be discussed, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments made, without introducing new ideas.

coherence cohesion

Back up your main points with clear and relevant examples. Avoid general statements and provide specific instances that illustrate and strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Address the prompt completely by covering all aspects of the task, making sure your position is consistent and clear throughout the essay.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully to meet the reader's expectations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded with detailed information and analysis.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. The use of examples demonstrates an understanding of the topic and enhances the persuasiveness of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

402 words

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Your opinion

In some countries students pay the collage and universities fees themselves, but in other it is paid by the government. Do the advantages of government money outweigh the disadvantages?

Many museums and historic sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than by local residents. What are the causes of this? What can be done for museums and historic sites to attract more local visitors?

Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it better to invest in preventative measures” To what extent do you agree

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.