Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
Many
people
owe money because they purchase unnecessary goods that they cannot afford. Relentless advertising in the media
and the easy availability of credit
are the main reasons for this
, and I believe it is the responsibility of governments to intervene and issue stricter guidelines to prevent irresponsible lending and to regulate advertising in the media
.
Advertising in the media
has caused many people
to go into debt. Clever marketing can lead people
to believe they need something when in reality they do not, driving them to spend unnecessarily. Another reason that people
are buying things they cannot afford is the fact that credit
is easily available. Nowadays financial institutions make it widely known that anyone can get a credit
card or a loan. For example
, wonga.com has been heavily criticized in the United Kingdom for providing short-term loans at high interest rates that can be instantly sent to someone’s bank account after applying online.
These practices could be curbed through government regulation of excessive advertising and unsound lending practices. In other words
, if governments capped the amount of advertising allowed in the media
and required applicants for loans or credit
to prove that they have sufficient income, people
would be under less pressure to spend recklessly and also
would not have the means to do so. For example
, in Germany, a person is not allowed to borrow more than 10% of their annual income in any one year, and if they do, the bank will be penalized with a heavy fine.
In conclusion, rampant lending and excessive marketing have led to many people
being burdened with debt, but this
can be avoided if authorities regulate advertising and put in place proper rules that lenders must adhere to.Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on
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While your essay clearly addresses both parts of the task, ensure that every point you make in support is elaborated thoroughly. Adding more detail and example to each main point can improve your score.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your coherence and cohesion, make sure every paragraph connects smoothly with transitional phrases. This will enhance the overall flow and readability.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates logical structure, with main points supported effectively by relevant examples.
task achievement
The task has been comprehensively addressed, covering both reasons and actions with specific examples.
task achievement
You have expressed clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, making your argument convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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