In many countries, children today have more freedom than they used to. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
The proportion of
freedom
provided among children
has increased compared to the past in many countries and it has both advantages and disadvantages for children
. I personally believe that giving freedom
to children
has a profound impact on the physical, and cognitive development
of children
.
To begin
with, giving children
freedom
has numerous advantages which is
related to their personal growth and Change the verb form
are
development
. If they are given much freedom
they can grow their own decision-making capabilities and apply them in their each sector of lives. For example
, through their freedom
of decision-making capabilities, they would decide which course they would choose in their school or which sports they would participate.
Change preposition
in.
Therefore
, freedom
would prepare them for their future challenges and their professional life as well.
However
, giving much freedom
sometimes is not beneficial for children
because of immaturity and tenderness of their age. For instance
, at a young age, children
cannot decide what is wrong and what is right. Hence
, if they are given much freedom
they easily become misguided and make wrong decisions. Furthermore
, having much freedom
can harm their academic career because they might use their valuable time for unnecessary entertainment. Therefore
, although
freedom
is important for the growth of children
, excessive freedom
is sometimes harmful.
To conclude
, freedom
is important for children
and it brings positivity and development
in children
's lives. However
, the proportion of freedom
should be appropriate according to
their age and development
. Parents should be aware of how much independence a child is provided and how he is utilizing it.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that presents the topic and your stance on it, followed by a logical sequence of paragraphs, each presenting a central idea. Use cohesive devices to link ideas.
task achievement
Your essay responds to the prompt adequately but could improve by providing more specific examples to support your points. Each idea should be explained and exemplified to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.