In many countries, children today have more freedom than they used to. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The proportion of
freedom
provided among
children
has increased compared to the past in many countries and it has both advantages and disadvantages for
children
. I personally believe that giving
freedom
to
children
has a profound impact on the physical, and cognitive
development
of
children
.
To begin
with, giving
children
freedom
has numerous advantages which
is
Change the verb form
are
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related to their personal growth and
development
. If they are given much
freedom
they can grow their own decision-making capabilities and apply them in their each sector of lives.
For example
, through their
freedom
of decision-making capabilities, they would decide which course they would choose in their school or which sports they would participate
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Therefore
,
freedom
would prepare them for their future challenges and their professional life as well.
However
, giving much
freedom
sometimes is not beneficial for
children
because of immaturity and tenderness of their age.
For instance
, at a young age,
children
cannot decide what is wrong and what is right.
Hence
, if they are given much
freedom
they easily become misguided and make wrong decisions.
Furthermore
, having much
freedom
can harm their academic career because they might use their valuable time for unnecessary entertainment.
Therefore
,
although
freedom
is important for the growth of
children
, excessive
freedom
is sometimes harmful.
To conclude
,
freedom
is important for
children
and it brings positivity and
development
in
children
's lives.
However
, the proportion of
freedom
should be appropriate
according to
their age and
development
. Parents should be aware of how much independence a child is provided and how he is utilizing it.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that presents the topic and your stance on it, followed by a logical sequence of paragraphs, each presenting a central idea. Use cohesive devices to link ideas.
task achievement
Your essay responds to the prompt adequately but could improve by providing more specific examples to support your points. Each idea should be explained and exemplified to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

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