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Band 6

It is considered by some that diminishing the use of fossil fuel energy along with the continuous improvement of other alternative sources will be an excellent development to the community, while critics argue to this statement.

#fuel #energy #improvement #alternative #sources #development #community #critics
It is considered by some that diminishing the use of fossil fuel
energy
along with
 the continuous improvement of other alternative sources will be an excellent development
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the community,
while
 critics argue with
this
 statement.
Nevertheless
, considering the detrimental effects stemming from the carbon footprint produced by fuel-oil-based
energy
,
this
 essay strongly agrees with the statement.
Firstly
, some people believe that fossil fuel
energy
 is one of the most noticeable carbon contributors in the world.
In other words
,
this
 type of
energy
 can lead to severe environmental disasters
such
 as climate change and air pollution. Reducing
this
energy
,
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will drive a tremendous positive outcome for the environment, creating a greener atmosphere and a healthy environment. Today, the United Kingdom simulates the projection of renewable
energy
 usage in all regions, accounting for more than 90% of all
energy
, and finds
this
 proportion potentially brings to cleaner society, albeit slowly, which can drop an average temperature up to 1.5 Celsius every year and decrease the lung decease risk among the community.
Conversely
, some critics disagree and think that depleting fossil fuel usage could extremely affect the economy. It is
due to
 the fact that fossil
energy
 has a high demand in the
energy
 market which means that an end or change in the use of
this
 resource will bring to imbalance in supply and demand, leading to economic recession and resulting in unstable economic conditions around the world. Should alternative
energy
 be used,
such
 as wind turbine or solar power, the budget that the company need to allocate will be expensive and a shortage of
energy
 will result in a negative impact. In conclusion,
while
 there are some negative impacts associated with the end of fossil
energy
, the benefits of
this
 measure should not be overlooked. By introducing the subsequent discovery of renewable
energy
 led by governments and individuals,
this
 step can be considered
as
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apply
show examples
a positive measure in the future.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea and follow it with supporting sentences and a conclusion. Use linking words appropriately to connect the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion in your essay that clearly address the prompt and summarize your position. Make sure they are capable of standing alone to convey your stance on the issue. The introduction should outline your key points, and the conclusion should restate your position succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point in your argument with clear and appropriate supporting details. Enhance your main points by providing specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic and your argument. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with specific evidence.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully address the prompt in your response by covering all parts of the statement. Clearly state your position and provide a comprehensive argument that addresses both perspectives if required by the prompt.
task achievement
Your ideas should be expressed clearly and effectively. Aim for comprehensive development of your argument with careful consideration of how each point feeds into your overall position. Avoid overgeneralization or unclear statements.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points effectively. They should be relevant, well-developed, and strengthen your argument. Make sure each example is clearly connected to the main argument of your essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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