Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course. Write a letter to the college enrolment officer. In your letter explain why you are writing describe your circumstances ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enroll in the course

#computers #computer #course #interests #people #college #enrolment #officer #circumstances #exception

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter regarding the computer course that

has been

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

posted in the article yesterday. I am a student with no experience in handling

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and have never studied

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

computers. But I have a

tremendus

Correct your spelling

tremendous

interest in knowing about systems and how it works . In the

article

Add a comma

article,

show examples

it is mentioned that the eligibility criteria for the program is

Change preposition

for

show examples

people who have

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

completed their elementary course. I am requesting you to give me some exception to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

for

this

Linking Words

course at your prestigious organisation. It would really help me to pursue my dreams. Thank you for considering my request. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Submitted by insighttribez on Sun Nov 19 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Although you provided a greeting and closing, the main body of your letter lacked a clear logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts into clear paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single idea.

Task Achievement

While you have addressed the three bulleted points, your response lacks detail and development. Expand on your interest in computers, describe your circumstances in more detail, and provide a stronger argument for why an exception should be made for you.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

112 words

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The Closing

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the higher a product is priced, the more likely it is that people will want to buy it. To what extent does price influence potential buyers? What other factors influence people to buy a product?