Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices

#people #choices

It is argued by many that the today's world has provided us with a wide range of options

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that it is hard to make a decision. Meanwhile, I am inclined to agree

will

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

this

notion that the modern world alternation has put us through

this

situation Recent technological developments

as well as

modernisation have altered

individual's

Change noun form

individual

show examples

habits, significantly, in terms of making

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

For instance

, in the past, people used to shop from local markets,

with

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

a limited range of options. In simpler terms, when a person intended to buy a specific product,

such

as a shampoo, he / she would choose a product randomly regardless of the brand.

However

, it is worth considering that

this

traditional marketing system

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

put

costumers

Correct your spelling

customers

show examples

under

Change preposition

show examples

demanding situations as well. Long ago, people used to have

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

finding some specific types of vital medications which had become scarce

Change preposition

over

show examples

a period of time.

Nevertheless

, technological developments have been offering both providers and

costumers

Correct your spelling

customers

show examples

convenience.

In other words

, producers have gained the opportunity to sell their products through online platforms,

such

as websites or Instagram, which

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been recently featured with a shopping option.

Although

shoppers have the opportunity to seek the reviews and the ratings made by the previous users, they may become indecisive

which

Change preposition

about which

show examples

product to choose, as they find themselves caught in a puzzling situation.

Therefore

, these

mixed up

Add a hyphen

mixed-up

show examples

shoppers might become frustrated and

consequently

give up on Shopping! In conclusion, since online shops have provided

Correct your spelling

show examples

with a wide variety of options, I strongly agree with the notion that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

today's world has brought us many difficulties in terms of making decisions.

Submitted by parvizrashidi on Sun Nov 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure, including distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Clearly present your thesis statement in the introduction and reiterate your position in the conclusion to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Develop main points with supporting details and examples to make them more convincing and relevant. Avoid making general statements without specific evidence.

task achievement

Address the prompt fully by covering all aspects of the question and providing a clear response to the statement given.

task achievement

Express ideas in a clear and comprehensive manner, ensuring they are well thought out and articulated clearly throughout your essay.

task achievement

Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support your opinions and arguments, making sure they directly relate to the topic at hand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to be successful at school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are people, who believe that children should not be given extra pressure like homework by their teachers at the same time there are individuals who opine that homeworks are mandatory in a student's life. In this essay, I will go through both sides of the argument and will explain my support for the latter view.
6
band
in some countries, people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classess what are the reason for this is this a positive or negative develpment
Private trainers are in higher demand in several countries. Conducting the trainers has more benefit in performing sports or physical exercise as they can likely scan through a diet habit and the abilities of individuals that can perform during the session. I believe that there would be a positive impact from getting a private trainer instead of doing class activities. Nowadays, more and more people build a healthy habit by making time to go to the gym and eating clean. Going to the gym doesn't help a person get into shape; thus, this is where the private instructor gets involved. To be honest, hiring the instructor is costly, but he or she helps to advise on good posture as well as knows various types of exercise that can benefit the targeted body parts. For example, adding extra weight to certain exercises when they believe that their trainee is capable. Moreover, fitness trainers are more likely to give suggestions on the series of meals that are essential for the body during the...
6
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather that to work for a company or organisation what cloud be the advantages of being self employed
These days and age the vast majority of people prefer to provide jobs for themselves and be business leaders rather than hire an employee. The origins of this situation seem to stem from several factors. The government supports high - education by subsidising facilities to encourage them to run a business. Therefore, individuals will find far more career progression and job prospects by being an entrepreneur. For example, the government lends them money and makes financial payments.
5
band
More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?
Education is a treasure which could neither be stolen nor destroyed. Nowadays, many individuals have the chance to get a higher education in a foreign country. Few juveniles get the benefits by study in a foreign country but some face problems. I am with the former statement and discuss both sides with my opinion.
7.5
band
Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?
Researchers argue that it is better for offspring to start studying different countries mother tongue at their primary age rather than in their secondary studies. While children likes and dislikes are the concerning drawbacks to this, the future of a young one can be designed by learning at an early age is the primary benefit that surpasses any disadvantages.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to be successful at school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in some countries, people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classess what are the reason for this is this a positive or negative develpment

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather that to work for a company or organisation what cloud be the advantages of being self employed

More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?