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Writing Samples
Band 7

The provided chart shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity.

The provided chart shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity.
The provided bar chart compares the top ten countries in terms of the
proportion
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 of
electricity
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 consumed and produced in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that
while
Linking Words
 China and the United States consumed and produced the largest
proportion
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 of
electricity
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 in 2014, Korea, Brazil, France and Canada produced and consumed the least
proportion
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 of
electricity
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.
Moreover
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,
on the contrary
Linking Words
 to other countries, Germany's consumption exceeded its production.
According to
Linking Words
 the figure related to China, 5, 398
billion
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kWh
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 of
electricity
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 was generated in 2014,
whereas
Linking Words
 5, 329
billion
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kWh
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 of
electricity
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 was used in
this
Linking Words
 country. Meanwhile, the
united states
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United States
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 generated 4,099
billion
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kWh
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 of
electricity
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, only 3,8.66
billion
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kWh
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 of which was used by American users. Interestingly, Russia, as the third top-ranked country in terms of producing and consuming
electricity
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, generated one-fifth of the
proportion
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 produced in China, at 1.057, 1038 of which was consumed in the year in question. In terms of generating and using electrical power,
by
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apply
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considering Germany an exception, in which
the
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apply
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consumption exceeded its production by 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the other six countries supplied their users with less than a thousand
billion
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kwh
Correct your spelling
kWh
 of
electricity
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, it sufficed the local users, as less was consumed in comparison with production ratios.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, electricity, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provided" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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