IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

#now-a-days #people #work #company #be #case
The transformation of drastic change in the economic system
this
 past few years has taken a toll on the way
people
 behave and
work
. Many
people
 start to build a business and be self-employed, leading them to leave their corporate jobs. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the benefits of why
people
 choose to
work
 for themselves and the disadvantages of being self-employed. First and foremost, having your own business means playing by your own rules.
This
 is the case for many
people
. Getting to reach individual goals and not working under someone's goals is what drives
people
 to
work
 independently.
Secondly
, the inequality of paycheck
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the skills used as a staff and the promising self-employed income leads to
people
 being
enamored
Change the spelling
enamoured
show examples
 with becoming self-employed.
However
, being an independent worker means more
work
 to put in without a financial kickstart from others and
free-of-rules
Correct your spelling
rules
show examples
. These factors could be tricky for those who are not familiar with being disciplined in building a career by themselves.
For instance
, certain skills are constantly required to build and improve certain areas in order to meet certain goals and close deals.
To conclude
, working independently has its own benefits and downsides if not promptly considered.
Submitted by nabilarasya35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve task response, ensure you fully expand on your ideas to directly address all parts of the prompt. Provide thorough explanations and relevant examples to illustrate your points and substantiate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay should have a clear and logical flow. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Additionally, using varied linking phrases can help to connect ideas more seamlessly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: