Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion

#people #information #research #business #world

There are two different points of view about scientific achievements.

First

Change the article

The first

show examples

group emphasizes the free publication of information for everyone.

On the other hand

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

group thinks that we don’t have to make some critical data available. The former sight follows an open-source policy which is closer to my perspective and the latter one has a more cautious policy. The first crowd thinks that we can

also

share everything with others, which is the definition of open-source policy and they believe that we can have a more scientific global society. With

this

action, we can positively affect others’ quality of life

as well as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

be influenced by them.

For instance

, whenever you share COVID-19's vaccine formulation, you save

humans

Fix the agreement mistake

human

show examples

lives and

in contrast

, the survivors

also

transfer artificial intelligence (AI) knowledge to control population density to prevent

covid's

Correct your spelling

COVID's

show examples

spread. The latter sight is based on a cautious view. Apart from the positive effects of publishing scientific data, humans have

also

had bitter experiences in the past. One of the most significant experiences was the invention of AI, which can be seen as the government's misuse of its potential in anti-humanitarian applications. Many countries,

instead

of using it to promote

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

welfare, used it to threaten each other. Some countries have increased their cyber-attacks when they have gotten

this

technology.

Moreover

, they have been using intelligent economic models to increase their political influence, which is very unfortunate. As I see, science itself has no damage to humanity but advantages, so, the issue is the way of usage. You can use the misuse of AI technology in cyber-attacks or

in appropriate

Correct your spelling

inappropriate

show examples

medical applications. With

this

reasoning, we come to the conclusion that the problem is human.

Therefore

, it is important to focus on human ethics

instead

of publishing restrictions. It is the United

Nations

Change noun form

Nations'

show examples

duty to implement plans in

this

regard to make the situation of information dissemination less risky.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Nov 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay overall demonstrates a basic logical structure; however, it lacks a strong clear progression of ideas throughout. Consider using clearer and more explicit topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph and connect your ideas more effectively. Additionally, more varied and complex cohesive devices could enhance the connectivity between ideas.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task, but the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. You should express and elaborate on your ideas more thoroughly. Include a more developed introduction and conclusion to encapsulate your discussion more effectively. Ensure your opinion is clearly stated and consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

information sharing
scientific research
business
academic world
advancement of knowledge
progress
collaboration
cross-disciplinary research
open access
democratization of information
transparency
credibility
intellectual property
security concerns
commercial interests

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.
In our present society using developed alternative natural sources is unquestionably one of the most controversial topics of debate these days. This affects all of us worldwide since the latest studies show the significant relationship between rising climate change and the use of unnatural energies, such as nuclear power. In fact, it is considered to be a part of each day, but I absolutely agree with the statement about using natural resources, so this essay will elucidate my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.
4
band
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)
In my country, it is a common that many firms should pay taller salaries to the leader more than the workers. It is not because an exploitation, but it means they deserve it, who have to take more responsibilities for the company. In my perspective, I totally agree that the executives should receive more incomes greater pay than workers those who report to them, CEOs are workers too.
7
band
You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket. Write a letter to the supermarket manager. In your letter • tell why you were speaking with the employee • describe the employee's rude behavior • explain what you'd like the manager to do
I, Anita Kumari: a regular customer of your renowned supermarket, am writing this letter to demonstrate my dishearted experience at your store.
4
band
In order for the world to be a ‘greener’ place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It will not be overstated that the world we are living today is more likely to be unhospitable due to the massive reduction of green areas as a response to people’s irresponsibility, causing other related problems such as worse pollution and landslides. To cope with this issue, it is believed that stricter punsihments and fines should be regulated for those who have done activities that harm the environment they habituate. I wholeheartedly stand for this argument with two major reasons: the possibility to lessen people’s environmentally destructive tendencies as well as the prospect of generating income for conservating the environment from the punishments and fines resulted.
6.5
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some individuals believe that only people who have to study, work, or travel abroad will select to learn foreign languages, while others disagree with the idea and think that everyone can choose to learn other languages although they do not go abroad. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before a conclusion is reached.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket. Write a letter to the supermarket manager. In your letter • tell why you were speaking with the employee • describe the employee's rude behavior • explain what you'd like the manager to do

In order for the world to be a ‘greener’ place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?