Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are two different points of view about scientific achievements.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
group emphasizes the free publication of information for everyone.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
group thinks that we don’t have to make some critical data available. The former sight follows an open-source policy which is closer to my perspective and the latter one has a more cautious policy. The first crowd thinks that we can
also
Linking Words
share everything with others, which is the definition of open-source policy and they believe that we can have a more scientific global society. With
this
Linking Words
action, we can positively affect others’ quality of life
as well as
Linking Words
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
be influenced by them.
For instance
Linking Words
, whenever you share COVID-19's vaccine formulation, you save
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
lives and
in contrast
Linking Words
, the survivors
also
Linking Words
transfer artificial intelligence (AI) knowledge to control population density to prevent
covid's
Correct your spelling
COVID's
show examples
spread. The latter sight is based on a cautious view. Apart from the positive effects of publishing scientific data, humans have
also
Linking Words
had bitter experiences in the past. One of the most significant experiences was the invention of AI, which can be seen as the government's misuse of its potential in anti-humanitarian applications. Many countries,
instead
Linking Words
of using it to promote
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
welfare, used it to threaten each other. Some countries have increased their cyber-attacks when they have gotten
this
Linking Words
technology.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have been using intelligent economic models to increase their political influence, which is very unfortunate. As I see, science itself has no damage to humanity but advantages, so, the issue is the way of usage. You can use the misuse of AI technology in cyber-attacks or
in appropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
show examples
medical applications. With
this
Linking Words
reasoning, we come to the conclusion that the problem is human.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to focus on human ethics
instead
Linking Words
of publishing restrictions. It is the United
Nations
Change noun form
Nations'
show examples
duty to implement plans in
this
Linking Words
regard to make the situation of information dissemination less risky.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay overall demonstrates a basic logical structure; however, it lacks a strong clear progression of ideas throughout. Consider using clearer and more explicit topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph and connect your ideas more effectively. Additionally, more varied and complex cohesive devices could enhance the connectivity between ideas.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task, but the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. You should express and elaborate on your ideas more thoroughly. Include a more developed introduction and conclusion to encapsulate your discussion more effectively. Ensure your opinion is clearly stated and consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: