In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop

It is predicted that in the coming years, the purpose that residents visit shopping malls is for relaxation

instead

of going shopping.

This

essay will present detailed reasons why I'm afraid I have to disagree with

this

opinion. On the one hand, in the future, many entertainment places will appear in supermarkets, including coffee shops, cinemas, and restaurants.

For instance

, the public can make an appointment with their friends at the coffee shop in the mall which is a suitable place for hanging out or taking perfect photos.

Moreover

, beverage stores inside the supermarket usually have more comfortable spaces and quality refreshments that are better than roadside stores.

In addition

, based on inhabitants' psychology, they tend to go to malls with many entertainment categories

instead

of going to each small store.

For example

, they can go to both restaurants and cinemas without

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a long distance.

On the other hand

besides

amusement, going shopping is still the main aim why inhabitants visit the mall.

This

comes from the people's needs and products sold in marts are usually plentiful and diverse. Consumers can find their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

goods imported from well-known trademarks all over the world.

Furthermore

, there are

also

promotions to stimulate purchases making customers shop more. In conclusion, I believe that in the future people not only go to the mall for fun but

also

for shopping. The important thing is that the primary purpose of the supermarket’s establishment is to provide customers with a good place to shop comfortably.

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Thu Apr 25 2024

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Coherence

Carefully review transitions between ideas to ensure they flow smoothly, enhancing cohesion.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more specific examples and details to strengthen your argument.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion clearly frame your essay, effectively setting up your argument and summarizing it at the end.

Language Use

You make good use of a variety of sentence structures, which contributes to the readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many cities around the world are facing severe air pollution problems. What do you think are the main causes of this issue? Suggest some possible solutions.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or nagative development?