In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say that an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think that there are benefits if society has more elderly. To what extent do the advantages of having ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In contemporary society, the problem raised by the increasing number of problem
elders
has been a topic of interest to the masses. Some individuals champion that the elderly population enhance the burden on governments
, while
a significant number of others posit that ageing does communities any favours. Although
I do acknowledge that both sides have their merit, I am inclined to support that having more ageing in a
society has more advantages, as I believe the elderly bring more benefits than problems.
On the one hand, there is little doubt that when people get older,Remove the article
apply
Add an article
the
a
such
as suffering from chronic diseases is only a matter of time. Homelessness, starvation and so on are also
emergent issues for governments
to deal with. These instances elaborate that governments
need to spend a considerable number of budgets on health insurance, food supplements or even enough pensions to maintain their standard life. It is therefore
reasonable that people pointed out that increasing the older population would decrease the efficiency of governments
.
On the other hand
, the aforementioned perspectives overlook that elders
are vivid life teaching textbooks which have unlimited databases, their real-life experiences are priceless treasures to adolescents. For example
, there are numerous YouTube videos in which creators ask ageings to give some dreams which they regret that they did not attempt to do. Those short videos can convey a precise idea to teenagers that endeavours are the first step to becoming successful and not regret it in the future. Such
examples challenge the initial assertion and suggest that elders
' intelligence and experiences have a significant role to play in teaching adolescents and improving societies.
In conclusion, reflecting these perspectives while
older people request more help from governments
, their life stories do more favours to the community. Therefore
, my allegiance that if there are more elders
, the community can gain more benefits is steadfastly consolidated and remains incontrovertibly firm.Submitted by jasmine2001tw on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but there is room for improvement in presenting a more cohesive argument by linking ideas and paragraphs more logically. Use a variety of cohesive devices to better connect sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.
task achievement
The response is quite complete, but the essay would benefit from a more nuanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages. Also, ensure the response directly addresses the extent to which the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as this directly pertains to the task question. Expand on points with more depth and analysis to enhance clarity and provide a more comprehensive overview of the topic.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...