IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings #ones
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It has been argued that some special historical buildings are more worth to be preserved than other normal old constructions. In my opinion, almost all of the historical buildings deserve to receive equal attention. It is my view that every single ancient construction should be valued,
due to
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 the fact that all of these properties are part of a huge collection which has formed the history of a specific nation. By means of each ancient building is like a piece of a puzzle, so we have to preserve all of the pieces to complete the whole puzzle and figure out the historical meaning
of
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that
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.
In contrast
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, some people claim that preserving some specific old properties must be the priority like the castle of the city. They firmly insist that maintaining those key buildings which demonstrate the most important historical events is enough to understand the story of the past.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing as the whole theories and notions that have been given by the experts will not be accurate, because the collection of the constructions is incomplete. In conclusion, I completely disagree with saving the key properties, because we have to collect as reliable data as we can but with these procedures, it will not happen.
Submitted by aydapiano on

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coherence cohesion
When constructing your essay, ensure there is a clear logical structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Aim to have a more discernible separation between these sections.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to establish your viewpoint and a summary of that viewpoint in your conclusion. This will reinforce the consistency and clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples. While you mentioned the importance of each historical building contributing to the nation's history, providing concrete examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your response is relatively complete, but could benefit from deeper exploration of the reasons behind the preservation of buildings and possibly a counterpoint to show the complexity of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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