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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some think that some individuals are naturally good leaders while others think individuals can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #individuals #leaders #leadership #skills
This
 is a matter of great
arguments
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argument
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 whether
leading
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leadership
show examples
 ability is
such
 an achievable skill or it is just a natural talent that some individuals are lucky enough to have it.
While
 many people might believe that great leaders are those who have been
borned
Correct your spelling
born
this
 way, I am strongly of the conviction that everything can be learned easily by practicing. In the course of human history, there
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 many examples of great leaders who
have been
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were
show examples
borned
Correct your spelling
born
 with an instinctive leadership ability, and because of that, there is a tendency
of considering
Change preposition
to consider
show examples
this
 feature as
genetically
Correct article usage
a genetically
show examples
 inherited quality. Take Cyrus the
great
Capitalize word
Great
show examples
 as a historical
exmple
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example
, all the
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 that we have from the ancient
persian
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Persian
show examples
 kingdom
have confirmed
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confirms
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 that
this
 magnificent king
had been borned
Wrong verb form
was born
show examples
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great administrative skill which was required to occupy
such
 a position
some day
Correct your spelling
someday
show examples
.
However
, who knows if
such
 a qualified leader had not been trained enough during his childhood, what could have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened; so even a natural talent could be wasted
as a result
 of
negligance
Correct your spelling
negligence
. On the other side of
this
 argument, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 proved to be able to do almost everything if a proper amount of effort is adopted. Compared to many complicated skills like playing musical instruments that
every one
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everyone
show examples
 can learn by allocating enough time for it,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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leadership ability is the most simple thing that people can learn. That means every individual is capable of being a
high-qaulified
Correct your spelling
highly qualified
 leader in the future if they are instructed enough in schools or other academic institutions.
Besides
,
this
 is the reason why we have so many academic courses with regard to
learn
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learning
show examples
 management skills. In conclusion,
although
 being a good leader might
requires
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 different
charectristic
Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
 features that some people have had
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from the moment they were
borned
Correct your spelling
born
, we can not deny the impacts of a high
quality-education
Correct your spelling
quality education
show examples
 to enhance these qualifications.
Submitted by greatsoloist on

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task achievement
Ensure that you present your thesis clearly in the introduction. It should set the tone for the entirety of the essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples; general statements without evidence do not demonstrate a full understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Aim for clarity in expression. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy and proper use of vocabulary can greatly improve the quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are logically connected to this main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use linking devices appropriately to connect ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to spelling and word forms to ensure precision and avoid confusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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