The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The diagram displays the stepwise process of producing
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, the process of making
sugar
contains 7 steps
such
as growing, harvesting, making
juice
, purifying, making
syrup
, centrifuging, and the
last
drying and cooling.
The first step is
to grow
sugar
cane, which takes 12-18 months. After growing it, a harvesting process may take place, there are two ways to harvest - manually or mechanically. If it is mechanically, a combined machine collects
sugar
cane,
while
manually, people harvest them by hand, using some tools.
Next,
harvested sugarcanes experience crushing, when they convert into
juice
.
Then
, the
juice
is purified through a limestone filter to start evaporating it. In order to make
syrup
, purified
sugar
juice
heats up in a special container. Afterwards, hot
syrup
centrifuges,
as a result
, the
syrup
separates from
sugar
crystals.
Finally
, the
sugar
crystals need to dry and cool, so the final product is
sugar
.
Submitted by kama.star.00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice, syrup with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: