The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
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The diagram displays the stepwise process of producing
sugar
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from
sugar
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cane.
Overall
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, the process of making
sugar
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contains 7 steps
such
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as growing, harvesting, making
juice
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, purifying, making
syrup
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, centrifuging, and the
last
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drying and cooling.
The first step is
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to grow
sugar
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cane, which takes 12-18 months. After growing it, a harvesting process may take place, there are two ways to harvest - manually or mechanically. If it is mechanically, a combined machine collects
sugar
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cane,
while
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manually, people harvest them by hand, using some tools.
Next,
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harvested sugarcanes experience crushing, when they convert into
juice
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.
Then
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, the
juice
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is purified through a limestone filter to start evaporating it. In order to make
syrup
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, purified
sugar
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juice
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heats up in a special container. Afterwards, hot
syrup
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centrifuges,
as a result
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, the
syrup
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separates from
sugar
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crystals.
Finally
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, the
sugar
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crystals need to dry and cool, so the final product is
sugar
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.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice, syrup with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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