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Band 7

some poeple think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?

#poeple #students #gap #year
The debate on whether
students
 should take a
year
 off after completing school is ongoing.
While
 I acknowledge that a
gap
year
 offers substantial advantages for
students
, I contend that it
also
 poses potential risks to their academic success. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on both the merits and drawbacks associated with taking
this
 time off. One prominent advantage of taking a
year
 off is that it allows
students
 to enrich their understanding of the world.
For instance
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 enables them to experience diverse cultures and sample regional cuisines.
For example
, young people may travel to Turkey, where they can witness cultural diversity firsthand and enjoy local dishes.
This
 exposure broadens their perspectives.
Furthermore
, a
gap
year
 can allow
students
 to gain practical work experience. By working as office clerks,
for example
, they can develop not only professional experience but
also
 critical skills like time management, which ultimately enhances their competitiveness in the job market.
However
, it is essential to consider that a
gap
year
 may negatively impact
students
' subsequent academic progress.
This
 is because the enjoyment derived from travel can diminish their motivation to continue studying.
Additionally
, if they secure a well-paying job during
this
 period, they may question the value of higher education and opt to bypass university altogether, viewing it as unnecessary.
Consequently
, young people may embark on their careers prematurely, foregoing their academic pursuits. In conclusion,
while
 taking a
gap
year
 can be a valuable component of one’s educational journey, I strongly believe that it should be approached with careful planning.
Otherwise
,
students
 may encounter significant challenges in their academic trajectories. paraphrase.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas introduced are directly related to the specific essay prompt, and consider further expanding on the implications of taking a gap year.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your paragraphs with transition words or phrases for smoother flow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion on the pros and cons of taking a gap year, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
supported main points
Each paragraph is well-structured with clear main points, which are supported by relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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