In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing.
what do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions ?
is increasing ,and many people are fat. It has many reasons why humans are more weight ,and have many physical
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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treatment
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Submitted by itchayatop31 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure, such as a distinct introduction, body with delimited paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure that each of these components is clearly defined and separated to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction fails to adequately paraphrase the task question or provide a clear thesis statement. Additionally, there is no clear conclusion that summarizes the main points. Work on rewriting the introduction to include these key elements and add a conclusion that neatly wraps up the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are identified, yet they are largely unsupported. Develop each point with specific examples, explanations, or data. Remember that each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with supporting sentences that expand upon it.
task achievement
The response only partially addresses the task. There is a recognition of the issue, but the causes and solutions are not discussed. Expand upon the initial points made by clearly outlining the causes and proposing specific, actionable solutions.
task achievement
While the ideas related to the topic are somewhat clear, they lack comprehensive development. Strive to elaborate on the arguments you present with fuller explanations and illustrations that demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Examples and details are either absent or not relevant to the topic. Enhance the essay by incorporating specific examples that are directly tied to the causes and solutions of the problems being discussed.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
No one can deny that a child's character can be influenced by people around them. However, an argument may rise among public on whether other factors also effect a youngster's character. In this essay, i will dicuss both sides of this issues and provide my reasons .
Nowadays, it is vital to invest money in infrastructure instead of public transport systems like ralways and trams. From my point of view, although investment in roads and motorways is fundamental, public transportation gives many benefits in various countries.
An increase in water demand has increased in recent years as freshwater has been considered as a limited resource and has become a main problem in the world. In this essay, both reasons and solutions of this matter will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
These days, so many people prefer to establish a personal job as opposed to work for a larger corporation. There are several reasons why this occurrence is happening, and of course there are some consequences for it.
While living in large cities provides wider range of convenience, study and job opportunities for people, it does brings brings problems to their daily life such as high living cost and pollutions. For decades, more and more people move to big cities which leads to unbalanced development in different parts of country. Thus, government should encourage people to move to regional towns in order to develop these areas as well as to reduce the density of population in big cities.