IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situations?

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Most
people
Use synonyms
 hold the notion that having their own shelter is
crucial
Correct quantifier usage
more crucial
show examples
 than
accomodating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
 in a rented
house
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
esaay
Correct your spelling
essay
 agrees with that statement as it enables
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact on
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
 by enhancing their mental status and improving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
. To
beging
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, living in a
house
Use synonyms
 which is belonged to one's own self
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
 a person with better psychological status. Most
people
Use synonyms
 dream
to build
Change preposition
of building
show examples
 their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to become settled in their
lives
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 it
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
 them
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 and a feeling of
fullfilment
Correct your spelling
fulfilment
 and at the same time
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to spend extra money
as
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rent or key money which
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 an unwanted
burdan
Correct your spelling
burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the mind of an individual.
For instance
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
, it is
comparitively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 higher, paying a loan for building one's own
house
Use synonyms
, it is
Correct quantifier usage
more benificial
show examples
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 than spending money on a rented
house
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 the feeling of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
belongingness of the
house
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 their mind peaceful.
In addition
Linking Words
,
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
house
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
oraganized
Correct your spelling
organised
. A
house
Use synonyms
 is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 place where
people
Use synonyms
 spend most of their time and it should provide all the
coziness
Change the spelling
cosiness
show examples
 that a person is expected to have. Living in a
well arranged
Add a hyphen
well-arranged
show examples
 home
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
 easier.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live for rent have to move
frequenly
Correct your spelling
frequently
 and they have to arrange their goods
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 they move
leaving
Change the verb form
to leave
show examples
 sometimes the furniture damaged. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to buy houses
other
Correct your spelling
rather
show examples
 than
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
 in a
house
Use synonyms
 for rent as it provides better mental health and
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically. The essay sometimes seemed disjointed, affecting the clarity of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement and conclude it by summarizing your main points. Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger and more explicitly related to each other.
coherence cohesion
Make certain that each main point is well-supported with clear explanations, evidence, or examples. You have made some attempts, but the examples given are general; more specific examples would enhance your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have responded to the task, but the development of your ideas is somewhat limited and not fully expanded. More depth and further elaboration on your ideas would result in a higher score.
task achievement
Present clear ideas that are comprehensively developed throughout the essay. Your ideas were somewhat clear but at times lacked comprehensive development, which is necessary for high band scores.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support the points you make. While you did provide examples, they lacked specificity which would make your argument more convincing and robust.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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