In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situations?

Most
people
hold the notion that having their own shelter is
crucial
Correct quantifier usage
more crucial
show examples
than
accomodating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
in a rented
house
.
This
esaay
Correct your spelling
essay
agrees with that statement as it enables
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact on
people
's
lives
by enhancing their mental status and improving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
. To
beging
Correct your spelling
begin
with, living in a
house
which is belonged to one's own self
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
a person with better psychological status. Most
people
dream
to build
Change preposition
of building
show examples
their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
to become settled in their
lives
.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
it
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
them
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
and a feeling of
fullfilment
Correct your spelling
fulfilment
and at the same time
people
do not have to spend extra money
as
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rent or key money which
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
an unwanted
burdan
Correct your spelling
burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the mind of an individual.
For instance
,
although
, it is
comparitively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
higher, paying a loan for building one's own
house
, it is
Correct quantifier usage
more benificial
show examples
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
than spending money on a rented
house
and
also
the feeling of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
belongingness of the
house
at the end
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
their mind peaceful.
In addition
,
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
a
house
makes
people
's
lives
oraganized
Correct your spelling
organised
. A
house
is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
place where
people
spend most of their time and it should provide all the
coziness
Change the spelling
cosiness
show examples
that a person is expected to have. Living in a
well arranged
Add a hyphen
well-arranged
show examples
home
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
lives
easier.
For example
,
people
who live for rent have to move
frequenly
Correct your spelling
frequently
and they have to arrange their goods
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
they move
leaving
Change the verb form
to leave
show examples
sometimes the furniture damaged. In conclusion,
people
tend to buy houses
other
Correct your spelling
rather
show examples
than
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
in a
house
for rent as it provides better mental health and
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by himudu.hhpg on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Make certain that each main point is well-supported with clear explanations, evidence, or examples. You have made some attempts, but the examples given are general; more specific examples would enhance your argument.
task achievement
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task achievement
Present clear ideas that are comprehensively developed throughout the essay. Your ideas were somewhat clear but at times lacked comprehensive development, which is necessary for high band scores.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support the points you make. While you did provide examples, they lacked specificity which would make your argument more convincing and robust.

Your opinion

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