Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It has been a widely-discussed topic for a long time how parents foster their

children

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. Nowadays, there is a debate on whether

children

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are allowed to make

mistakes

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. On the one hand, some people believe that it’s

children

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’s freedom to make

mistakes

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. Advocates of

this

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opinion may consider that

children

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can gain their

creativity

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from making

mistakes

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, which benefits

children

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in their lifetime.

For example

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, when I was in childhood, I once broke the vase carelessly at home. Rather than shout at me, my

mom

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comforted me and ensured that I was not hurt by the sharp debris of the vase. After that, I came up with the idea that I could put the debris into a transparent glass box to make a new artwork. Surprisingly, the new decoration made of debris looked nice. My

mom

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felt proud of my

creativity

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and I had a sense of achievement. I knew I had made a mistake but I found my talent in

creativity

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because of the broken vase. If I had been scolded for my mistake, I would not make

such

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a creative box.

On the other hand

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, other people,

however

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, assert that adults should prohibit

children

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from making

mistakes

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, which helps

children

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develop good

behavioral

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behavioural

show examples

habits. Childhood is a vulnerability window when

children

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are easily affected by others and develop inappropriate

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

For example

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, I failed my math exam in primary school and I was afraid of telling

this

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bad news to my

mom

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. To avoid being criticized, I revised the mark on my score report paper. After some days, my

mom

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found my fault and criticized me seriously. My

mom

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told me that telling a lie is a much bigger mistake than just failing an exam. If I cheated to hide my failure in exams when I was young, I would tell a lie at work in the future. From

then

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on, I learned to be an honest person no matter what I did. In conclusion, allowing

children

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to make

mistakes

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could help

children

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improve their

creativity

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but may induce some inappropriate

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

children

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. In my perspective, we adults should respect

children

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’s right to make

mistakes

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, giving

children

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sufficient freedom to grow up.

Besides

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, educating

children

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in an appropriate way is necessary when they make some

mistakes

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related to principles.

asllchkiedMon Nov 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the structure of your essay follows a clear and logical progression, with each paragraph flowing smoothly to the next. While the sequencing was mostly logical, some transitions could be improved to better connect ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay included an introduction and a conclusion, which provided clarity to the reader. Maintain an effective approach by clearly restating the position in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.

coherence cohesion

While the main points of the argument were supported, strive to develop each point further with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task by fully discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear and well-supported opinion. The response could be more complete by deepening the analysis of each viewpoint.

task achievement

Your ideas were clear and you demonstrated comprehension of the topic. Enhance this by ensuring that all parts of the prompt are explored to the same extent to provide a balanced discussion.

task achievement

Utilize more varied and directly relevant examples to support your argument. The examples provided did not fully illustrate the implications of each viewpoint, which is necessary for a higher score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

382 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

freedom to make mistakes
critical thinking skills
lifelong learning
guided learning environment
resilience
independence
overprotective
dependency
problem-solving skills
confidence
negative consequences
learning process
personal growth
trial and error
balance safety and learning
development
support and guidance
empowerment
risk-taking
life lessons

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Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more movies are being released directly onto streaming platforms, like Netflix and Disney Plus, rather than being played in cinemas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 254 words.

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should public money on saving these language, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.