Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It has been a widely-discussed topic for a long time how parents foster their
children
. Nowadays, there is a debate on whether children
are allowed to make mistakes
.
On the one hand, some people believe that it’s children
’s freedom to make mistakes
. Advocates of this
opinion may consider that children
can gain their creativity
from making mistakes
, which benefits children
in their lifetime. For example
, when I was in childhood, I once broke the vase carelessly at home. Rather than shout at me, my mom
comforted me and ensured that I was not hurt by the sharp debris of the vase. After that, I came up with the idea that I could put the debris into a transparent glass box to make a new artwork. Surprisingly, the new decoration made of debris looked nice. My mom
felt proud of my creativity
and I had a sense of achievement. I knew I had made a mistake but I found my talent in creativity
because of the broken vase. If I had been scolded for my mistake, I would not make such
a creative box.
On the other hand
, other people, however
, assert that adults should prohibit children
from making mistakes
, which helps children
develop good behavioral
habits. Childhood is a vulnerability window when Change the spelling
behavioural
children
are easily affected by others and develop inappropriate behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
For example
, I failed my math exam in primary school and I was afraid of telling this
bad news to my mom
. To avoid being criticized, I revised the mark on my score report paper. After some days, my mom
found my fault and criticized me seriously. My mom
told me that telling a lie is a much bigger mistake than just failing an exam. If I cheated to hide my failure in exams when I was young, I would tell a lie at work in the future. From then
on, I learned to be an honest person no matter what I did.
In conclusion, allowing children
to make mistakes
could help children
improve their creativity
but may induce some inappropriate behaviors
in Change the spelling
behaviours
children
. In my perspective, we adults should respect children
’s right to make mistakes
, giving children
sufficient freedom to grow up. Besides
, educating children
in an appropriate way is necessary when they make some mistakes
related to principles.Submitted by asllchkied on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the structure of your essay follows a clear and logical progression, with each paragraph flowing smoothly to the next. While the sequencing was mostly logical, some transitions could be improved to better connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay included an introduction and a conclusion, which provided clarity to the reader. Maintain an effective approach by clearly restating the position in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the main points of the argument were supported, strive to develop each point further with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by fully discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear and well-supported opinion. The response could be more complete by deepening the analysis of each viewpoint.
task achievement
Your ideas were clear and you demonstrated comprehension of the topic. Enhance this by ensuring that all parts of the prompt are explored to the same extent to provide a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Utilize more varied and directly relevant examples to support your argument. The examples provided did not fully illustrate the implications of each viewpoint, which is necessary for a higher score.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?