Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV shows. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #country #culture #import #movies #tv

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this

era, there are many channels to watch

movies

such

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

, netflix , television , etc, and it

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

on population choices.Some

people

think foreign films

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

good for

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

culture

however

, others prefer local shows.In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and provide my opinion by way of a conclusion. On the one hand, importing foreign

movies

and

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows can expose

people

to different cultures and perspectives.In

this

globalization, students tend to learn

Change preposition

show examples

visual form because

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

may feel more

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than feeding them with academic boring materials.

For example

korean

Change the capitalization

Korean

show examples

food and

culture

shows which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

easier

Add an article

an easier

the easier

show examples

way for

foreign

Replace the word

foreigners

show examples

to know more about them , meanwhile , new

language

Fix the agreement mistake

languages

show examples

and ideas

also

can

be discover

Change the verb form

be discovered

show examples

Additionally

, younger

people

gain more understanding of the world around them and communication skills with society worldwide.

On the other hand

, local production of

movies

and

broadcast

Fix the agreement mistake

broadcasts

show examples

can preserve and promote the country's own

culture

and traditions.Traditions can be a great way of bringing

people

together and

appreciate

Wrong verb form

appreciating

show examples

the richness of our

culture

For instance

, documentary films can help teach our children about our values and heritage.

Therefore

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should support local

movies

. In conclusion,

while

it is important to hold on to the traditions that are important to us,it is

also

important to be open to change.Both import and local

movies

should produced

depend

Wrong verb form

depending

show examples

audiences

Fix the agreement mistake

audience

show examples

demand.

Submitted by tifjong on Mon Nov 20 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

You should aim to have a clear logical structure in your essay, where each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed with relevant examples and details. Ensure that your paragraphs link together logically.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the topics to be discussed and your thesis statement, while your conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

While you have provided main points to support your arguments, these could be further developed with more specific examples and explanations. Make sure each point is directly supported by evidence or examples.

Task Achievement

Make sure that your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. You should spend more time developing each point of view fully and make your own opinion clear throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Your ideas could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for clarity by using precise vocabulary and vary your sentence structure for a more sophisticated style.

Task Achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples in your essay to support your points. Make sure that each example is directly related to the topic and helps to demonstrate your understanding of the subject.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
globalization
cultural exchange
cultural preservation
cultural identity
cultural enrichment
broadcasting
international influence

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Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV shows. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefits, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.