Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV shows. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
era, there are many channels to watch movies
such
as youtube
, netflix , television , etc, and it Correct your spelling
YouTube
depend
on population choices.Some Change the verb form
depends
people
think foreign films is
good for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
culture
, however
, others prefer local shows.In this
essay, I will discuss both views and provide my opinion by way of a conclusion.
On the one hand, importing foreign movies
and tv
shows can expose Correct your spelling
TV
people
to different cultures and perspectives.In this
globalization, students tend to learn by
visual form because Change preposition
in
their
may feel more Correct pronoun usage
they
interesting
Replace the word
interested
rather
than feeding them with academic boring materials.Rephrase
apply
For example
, korean
food and Change the capitalization
Korean
culture
shows which is
Change the verb form
are
easier
way for Add an article
an easier
the easier
foreign
to know more about them , meanwhile , new Replace the word
foreigners
language
and ideas Fix the agreement mistake
languages
also
can be discover
.Change the verb form
be discovered
Additionally
, younger people
gain more understanding of the world around them and communication skills with society worldwide.
On the other hand
, local production of movies
and broadcast
can preserve and promote the country's own Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
culture
and traditions.Traditions can be a great way of bringing people
together and appreciate
the richness of our Wrong verb form
appreciating
culture
.For instance
, documentary films can help teach our children about our values and heritage.Therefore
, government
should support local Add an article
the government
movies
.
In conclusion,while
it is important to hold on to the traditions that are important to us,it is also
important to be open to change.Both import and local movies
should produced depend
on Wrong verb form
depending
audiences
demand.Fix the agreement mistake
audience
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Coherence & Cohesion
You should aim to have a clear logical structure in your essay, where each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed with relevant examples and details. Ensure that your paragraphs link together logically.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the topics to be discussed and your thesis statement, while your conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you have provided main points to support your arguments, these could be further developed with more specific examples and explanations. Make sure each point is directly supported by evidence or examples.
Task Achievement
Make sure that your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. You should spend more time developing each point of view fully and make your own opinion clear throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Your ideas could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for clarity by using precise vocabulary and vary your sentence structure for a more sophisticated style.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples in your essay to support your points. Make sure that each example is directly related to the topic and helps to demonstrate your understanding of the subject.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.