Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV shows. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
era, there are many channels to watch
movies
such
as
youtube
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YouTube
show examples
, netflix , television , etc, and it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on population choices.Some
people
think foreign films
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
good for
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
culture
,
however
, others prefer local shows.In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and provide my opinion by way of a conclusion. On the one hand, importing foreign
movies
and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows can expose
people
to different cultures and perspectives.In
this
globalization, students tend to learn
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
visual form because
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
may feel more
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than feeding them with academic boring materials.
For example
,
korean
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Korean
show examples
food and
culture
shows which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
easier
Add an article
an easier
the easier
show examples
way for
foreign
Replace the word
foreigners
show examples
to know more about them , meanwhile , new
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
and ideas
also
can
be discover
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be discovered
show examples
.
Additionally
, younger
people
gain more understanding of the world around them and communication skills with society worldwide.
On the other hand
, local production of
movies
and
broadcast
Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
show examples
can preserve and promote the country's own
culture
and traditions.Traditions can be a great way of bringing
people
together and
appreciate
Wrong verb form
appreciating
show examples
the richness of our
culture
.
For instance
, documentary films can help teach our children about our values and heritage.
Therefore
,
government
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the government
show examples
should support local
movies
. In conclusion,
while
it is important to hold on to the traditions that are important to us,it is
also
important to be open to change.Both import and local
movies
should produced
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on
audiences
Fix the agreement mistake
audience
show examples
demand.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Coherence & Cohesion
You should aim to have a clear logical structure in your essay, where each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed with relevant examples and details. Ensure that your paragraphs link together logically.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the topics to be discussed and your thesis statement, while your conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you have provided main points to support your arguments, these could be further developed with more specific examples and explanations. Make sure each point is directly supported by evidence or examples.
Task Achievement
Make sure that your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. You should spend more time developing each point of view fully and make your own opinion clear throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Your ideas could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for clarity by using precise vocabulary and vary your sentence structure for a more sophisticated style.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples in your essay to support your points. Make sure that each example is directly related to the topic and helps to demonstrate your understanding of the subject.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural preservation
  • cultural identity
  • cultural enrichment
  • broadcasting
  • international influence
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