IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve peoples lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#aim #science #peoples #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate, regarding the most essential goal of
science
Use synonyms
 should be, to improve people's lives. If questioned to me, I would agree with the given statement. In the following write-ups, my preference is elaborated.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when we talk about
science
Use synonyms
, the first thing which prompts in our head is all about the technical gadgets we have around us. So we can say that
science
Use synonyms
 is a sort of topic which makes our
life
Use synonyms
 easier,
for example
Linking Words
 when we have smartphones near us, our
life
Use synonyms
 becomes so easy, as anything is possible to do with these devices.
Hence
Linking Words
 there should be more research on how we can make our lives more simple and sorted.
Additionally
Linking Words
, we can say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 should be for our benefit only, all the hard work humans do to invent new things should be used for our own benefit. Another point is that new discoveries lead to creating more employment, so there are opportunities for the public to get more pay cheques.
However
Linking Words
, some may say that, in the case of
science
Use synonyms
, people should not be shellfish and we should
also
Linking Words
 try to make cures for animal diseases. We live in an ecosystem and if
this
Linking Words
 ecosystem is interrupted by us,
life
Use synonyms
 would be in danger on Earth. In conclusion, we can say that
science
Use synonyms
 is very helpful for human
life
Use synonyms
, and
science
Use synonyms
 should have a main goal of making our
life
Use synonyms
 simple by building and inventing new things.
Although
Linking Words
 it has some consequences, which we may have to deal with, we can prevent it by keeping every
life
Use synonyms
 on earth safe.
Submitted by vrajgirigosai0079 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your introduction should more clearly introduce your main argument, ensuring you directly address the question posed. Try crafting an introductory paragraph that explicitly states your agreement or disagreement with the statement.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas with more details and examples. This can show the examiner your ability to discuss abstract ideas and apply them to real-life scenarios.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with clear and logical connections between paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by explanations or examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Utilize a wider range of conjunctions and cohesive devices to help your essay flow more naturally from one idea to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements
  • Cures for diseases
  • Quality of life
  • Environmental issues
  • Pollution
  • Sustainable resource management
  • Technological innovation
  • Efficient
  • Basic needs
  • Enhancing communication
  • Scientific discoveries
  • Informed decisions
  • Economic growth
  • Research and development
  • Job opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: