The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #countries #poverty

Nowadays, rich nations provide poor communities with financial

aid

;

however

this

solution has proven to be ineffective which is why it is stated that wealthy

countries

should find other ways to contribute. I strongly agree with

this

statement, and I believe that there are alternative ways to help those in need.

Firstly

, when wealthy

countries

provide

money

to underdeveloped

countries

, it will only be a short-term solution as

this

results in repeated problems. By providing financial assistance to underdeveloped nations it does not mean that the

money

reaches those in need. Corruption is more prominent in developing

countries

. It is specifically well-known that the government and most administrations lend

money

for their own good.

Consequently

, the poor will remain

empty handed

Add a hyphen

empty-handed

show examples

after receiving foreign

aid

Therefore

, if the help given would be provided differently and adjusted correctly, there could be a difference.

Secondly

, developed

countries

should provide other types of

aid

For example

, assisting with healthcare and

education

rather than just providing

just

Rephrase

apply

show examples

financial

aid

. It is proven that

education

leads to good decisions and that leads to finding a job.

This

helps to solve the nation’s unemployment problem and prevents people from committing crimes.

Moreover

, healthcare, medicine and modern technology are necessary for people to survive and prevent diseases from spreading.

As a result

, improving

education

and healthcare would be a long-term solution in preventing people from crimes and

misdemeanors

Change the spelling

misdemeanours

show examples

. In conclusion, I believe that wealthy

countries

should provide basic economic

aid

including new technology, medication and proper

education

which will solve the problem of poverty than just lending

money

that does not reach the citizens in need.

Submitted by Estramarti9 on Mon Jan 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you think all students should have to study music? Support your opinion with reasons and examples.

interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. in your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home?

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people barely get any advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this a positive or negative situation ?

In some countries, children have short school day of 5 hours. In other countries, the school duration is often longer. Does it have more benefits than drawbacks?