IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter • explain your situation • describe your problems • tell him/her when you think you can start.

#job #week #employer #situation
Dear Steven, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter about the start date of my job as a laboratory technician at ALS, but there is a problem arising in our house. As I mentioned in the interview, currently I am working part-time at my uncle's garden. Unfortunately, early
this
 morning, he had to rush to the hospital because of the severe pain of the kidney stone.
According to
 the doctor he has to be in the hospital for at least 3 days under supervision.
Hence
, I have to take care of the garden during his absence.
Moreover
, during my hard times, he not only helped me with the job but
also
 he was giving me bonus tips for my college fees. Now
this
 is the time when he needs my support
while
 he is not able to run his business for a few days. I am supposed to join the office on 13th May but seems like I can start from 16th May
instead
.
That is
 the early date I am able to join my new position at ALS. I look forward to hearing back from you. Yours faithfully, Janki.
Submitted by jankibrahmbhatt2411 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
It's important to keep each paragraph focused on a single idea. Your letter does a great job of this, with each paragraph serving a clear purpose.
Task Achievement
The letter effectively uses a formal tone suitable for communication with a new employer, which is excellent. However, consider using 'will' instead of 'am able to' for commitments to sound more definite and confident.
Task Response
The letter clearly explains the situation, describes the problems, and provides a precise date when you can start the job, effectively meeting the task's requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of formal greeting and closing in the letter suits the context of communicating with a new employer, showcasing good awareness of tone.
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