The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Science
is considerably a part of human
lives
and always developing day by day.
People
are expecting it should be able to improve human life. I strongly agree with
this
statement that promoting our
lives
is one of the
science
important purposes. The are several reasons why I believe that
science
should be able to promote our
lives
better with some
further
development involved. Without
Correct your spelling
science
sience
Add a comma
sience,
show examples
new technology
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
not
appears
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
and
science
has changed our
lives
dramatically through some benefits over centuries
such
as in communication, transportation, health or even the availability of goods and nutrients. Through
science
everyone in
this
world can access the variety of goods that they need, It
also
provides a better life in human health with the development of drugs, therapies, surgery techniques and so on. In terms of relying on
science
,
people
will not be disappointed because since helps us a lot.
Science
has become the pioneer for
people
to grow
for example
, without
science
we would not be able to see clearly at night because there is no longer light to help us in the dark
also
everyone must walk over a kilometre away every day because there is no vehicle invented. Perhaps without
science
people
who are threatened by disease have no idea with their
lives
continuesly
Correct your spelling
continue
. In conclusion,
science
aims to improve our
lives
,
although
obviously without
science
there will be no other improvement nowadays. If
people
expect
science
can improve their
lives
further
, I suggest everyone should appreciate every tiny
inventions
Change to a singular noun
invention
show examples
by scientists and the government should support
science
programs with a great fund.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay requires a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The logical structure can be improved by having a more organized flow of ideas, establishing clear relationships between them.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but would benefit from a more concise thesis statement and a clearer summary of the essay's main points, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, however, they lack specific examples and elaboration to fully develop your arguments. Aim to include precise evidence or examples to back up your points.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the essay topic, but it is essential to fully respond to the question with a clear opinion and thorough development of ideas related to science improving people's lives.
task achievement
Ideas presented are appropriate, but they could be articulated more comprehensively and clearly. Focus on expanding your points with detailed explanations and a more careful structuring of paragraphs.
task achievement
Relevant examples are mentioned, but they are not specific enough and lack details. Illustrate your points with concrete instances to strengthen the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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