IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people think it is very important to protect the environment but they make no effort to do it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What actions should individuals take to protect the environment?

#people #environment #effort #case #actions #individuals
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Many
people
 think that protecting the
environment
 is an important task
due to
 the condition of the
environment
people
 live in.
Nonetheless
, they have little effort in protecting it.
Hence
, in
this
 essay, I will discuss what has caused the problem to happen nowadays and present some measures which can be taken to preserve the surroundings. The first case that causes damage to the
environment
 is indiscipline in
people
's habit of sorting out their
trash
according to
 the regulations that have been implemented. Usually, most environmentally friendly activities make things more complicated compared to other simple activities.
For example
, in my country, many amusement parks have different colours of dust bin which
people
 have to use to allocate the tight type of
trash
 that they will throw away.
However
, when they feel reluctant to follow the rules in putting the
trash
 in different categories, it impacts the
environment
 as they feel too lazy to do it. Other than that, some of them are reluctant to use organic materials which function to reduce
trash
, like the usage of paper bags compared to plastic.
Nevertheless
, there are some measures that can be taken to solve
this
 issue.
First,
we cannot litter everywhere, and
therefore
, we must prepare
trash
 bins in certain areas of our house. From
this
 habit, we can help protect the
environment
 because it will save some of the areas from being polluted by chemical or biological reactions from waste.
Second,
plastic waste which is very hazardous to our
environment
 should be well-recycled and converted into other types of products.
Thus
, these two actions can reduce the number of
trash
that is
 produced from each household. In conclusion, individualist as those
people
 might be, some measures like providing more
trash
 bins and recycling plastic waste are far more effective in keeping the
environment
 clean.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
While the response addresses the prompt and offers valid reasons and solutions, it could be improved by expanding on those ideas with more details and examples. This will help to create a more comprehensive and convincing argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, but it would benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This would improve the overall coherence and make the essay easier to follow.
language accuracy
Some minor grammar and vocabulary errors are present, although they do not impede understanding. Pay attention to these details to improve language precision and accuracy.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task effectively by discussing the reasons behind the issue and proposing solutions.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the different colored bins in amusement parks, is effective in illustrating the points being made.
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