At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, in some countries, young adults account for a comparatively large proportion of the population compared with older
people
. I believe the upside of
this
situation far outweighs its downside because young
people
are the main drivers of economic growth. On the one hand, large numbers of young
people
can lead to high unemployment among them. Most older
people
already have their careers figured out. They either have stable corporate jobs or run their own businesses. In comparison, many young adults, especially those who just graduated from university, are still looking for jobs. When there are too many of them competing for the same positions, their chances of securing one are very low.
However
, I do not think
this
is a major disadvantage for young
people
as long as they make the leap to self-employment.
On the other hand
, young
people
are the driving force of an economy.
This
is because they tend to be more productive and creative than older
people
, and
thus
are more likely to bring change and innovation to their countries. Take
for example
the highly innovative trillion-dollar U.S. tech industry. Most employees in
this
industry are only in their late 20s. I think
this
is a great advantage for a country because a strong economy offers
people
a high standard of living. In conclusion,
although
large numbers of young adults can mean high jobless rates among them, I believe
this
disadvantage is greatly outweighed by the advantage that they can drive the economies to grow.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed, to provide a clear roadmap for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs for enhanced readability and flow. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively.
Task Achievement
Develop main points with specific and relevant examples to more fully elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages mentioned.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide a balanced consideration of both advantages and disadvantages before concluding, to clearly satisfy the task requirement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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