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Band 6.5

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#world #resources #products #governments #people
Raising fuel prices is believed to be the best solution to the planet’s environmental problem.
Although
this
 measure may reduce the amount of toxic fumes that are released into the atmosphere to some extent, I believe there are several more effective alternatives to tackle environmental
issues
. On the one hand,
such
 a policy may help to lower emissions from certain modes of transport. As the price of fuel increases, commuters may resort to using public transport
instead
 of using their own vehicles in order to save money.
Moreover
, drivers who are unwilling to spend more money on petrol will be encouraged to use vehicles that run on renewable and environmentally-friendly energy sources as an alternative,
such
 as electric cars and bicycles.
As a consequence
, the number of
privately-owned
Correct your spelling
privately owned
show examples
 vehicles travelling on public roads would be significantly reduced, which in turn would significantly reduce the amount of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere each year.
This
 would effectively enhance the air quality.
However
, as environmental
issues
 stem from many causes, there are several more suitable ways to address these problems. People’s lack of awareness and knowledge about
such
 problems is one of the primary underlying
issues
 that
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in pollution.
Therefore
, the government must educate the public about the current state of their environment and negative lifestyles in order to reduce the long-term impacts of their ignorance.
Additionally
, water pollution is a severe issue in many developing countries these days and is often found downstream from industrial zones where factories discharge toxic waste without proper treatment.
Such
 an issue requires governments to implement stricter regulations to minimize the negative health impacts and help sustain the economy. In conclusion, since each problem requires a unique solution, it is justifiable to say that increasing the price of fuel is not the single best resolution for environmental
issues
.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the introduction should be more directly connected to the prompt, ensuring the essay immediately begins to address the question presented. Your conclusion is present but could be strengthened to reinforce your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
While your essay generally follows a logical structure, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. Work on creating seamless links between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, as well as within the body itself. Additionally, including topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph will enhance coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • resource depletion
  • long-lasting goods
  • fast consumerism
  • environmental impact
  • planned obsolescence
  • consumer awareness
  • sharing economy
  • repair culture
  • government intervention
  • economic implications
  • conservation-minded
  • sustainable materials
  • production methods
  • environmental protection
  • personal freedom
  • collective responsibility
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