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Band 6

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicine #treatments #doctors #development
It is true that these days a huge part of the society who struggle with health issues
,
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 are using different kinds of medicine and chemical tablets on their own choices, without visiting a profession in
this
 area. I completely reject
this
 attitude towards medical treatments
due to
 its several negative aspects which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
,
people
 who are consuming medical drugs and avoid visiting a doctor whenever they are ill, may worsen their illness rather than treat it.
This
 is
due to
 their lack of knowledge and expertise in the medical sciences which can even lead to their death.
Nevertheless
, they are not aware of chemical reactions between drugs, so they will aggravate their disease.
Also
, unprofessional
people
 do not have the exact knowledge of the time and amount of the medicine their body have to receive.
For instance
, ordinary
people
 do not know how much vitamins have to use based on their age and their disease backgrounds.
Therefore
,
such
 treatment not only can not treat
people
,
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 but
also
 can deteriorate their medical situation.
Secondly
, having
such
 bad insight into treatments will encourage the community to a taking steps in the wrong way, so they will not be able to trust doctors and
people
 who have sufficient expertise and awareness in a specific field.
Nonetheless
,
people
 recommend strange ways of treatment to each other which can cause basic problems in terms of sicknesses. In summary,
people
 in
this
 era are interfering with doctor's work in the way that they try different methods to help their illnesses. I believe
this
 is a negative development which can mislead
people
 and lead to their death.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. The candidate should provide a balanced argument with clear opinions throughout the essay. Both the positive and negative aspects should be explored if the question prompts discussion on both sides, even if the writer's opinion is clear and strong on one side.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate to the main question. Make sure that examples are specific and clearly illustrate the argument. It is beneficial to use a wider range of cohesive devices to help the essay flow more naturally.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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