Government should spend more money on educationn than on recreation and sports.Do you agree of disagree?
It is argued that
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
should allocate more funds to Correct your spelling
government
education
than to leisure and competitive games.Im
my opinion, I agree that Correct your spelling
In
national
budget should prioritize schools and universities over sports and play.Correct article usage
the national
Firstly
, education
provides tremendous benefits
to a nation and secondly
,it brings social benefits
as well.
investment in the education
system is one of the best ways to improve a country's economy in the long term.The more students entering third-level education
, the more skilled a workforce will be and this
leads to higher innovation and productivity. For example
, North Korea and finland
took a decision to invest a large proportion of their budget in Change the capitalization
Finland
education
as opposed to sports and this
has reaped benefits
in the form of high tech
companies Add a hyphen
high-tech
such
as Samsung and Nokia. Thus
, investing funds in education
proves to be advantageous
Education
is not just about improving the counntry
, it Correct your spelling
country
also
has many social benefits
. Well educated
people tend to be more Add a hyphen
Well-educated
awre
of social evils Correct your spelling
aware
such
as drugs, alcohol and sexual health. For example
, Singapore education
its citizens Replace the word
educates
of
the Change preposition
on
danngers
of drugs and Correct your spelling
dangers
this
has yielded results such
as lowest
level of drug abuse in the world. Correct article usage
the lowest
Hence
allocating a greater proportion of budget
towards Correct article usage
the budget
education
sectors yields astounding benefits
in long
term
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the long
education
should take precedence over sports, when it comes to funding due to
the many socio-economic benefit
it brings. The government should pump Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Correct your spelling
money into
moneybinto
schools and universities in order to realise Correct your spelling
money into
long term
goalsAdd a hyphen
long-term
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Task Response
To improve your score in Task Response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Your essay did address the main topic, but the development of ideas can be enhanced by providing a more nuanced discussion and considering counterarguments to your position. This would demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking.
Coherence and Cohesion
To score higher in Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow of your essay and the clarity of your argument. Link your ideas more clearly, using a variety of cohesive devices, and organize your paragraphs in a logical manner where each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Additionally, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked, complete, and adequately encapsulate the central arguments of your essay.
Lexical Resource
Moreover, providing a wider range of structures and employing a more sophisticated vocabulary would enhance the lexical resource score. Mind the accuracy of language; watch out for repetitive structures and look for errors that may hinder communication. Spell check and proofread to avoid typographical errors that can potentially distract the reader.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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