IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that the human society has developed inTo a throw-away society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. What are the causes and the solutions?

#people #society #plastic #bags #rubbish
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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that the human community has negatively thrived at an immense pace into
the
Correct article usage
a
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 redundant
society
Use synonyms
, which is covered with a large number of nonrenewable plastic bags and harmful trash.
This
Linking Words
 essay is dedicated to some underlying roots, followed by effective solutions to
this
Linking Words
 alarming problem. Without a shadow of a doubt , there is a wealth of reasons why
this
Linking Words
society
Use synonyms
 is experiencing a conversion into a single-used one, especially
people’s
Change noun form
people
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 throwing things away easily. It is obvious to note that
since
Correct word choice
apply
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the more developing human
society
Use synonyms
 is in
this
Linking Words
 day and age, the more convenient purchasing new things is.
Instead
Linking Words
 of repairing old ones which are fixable, people have a tendency to get rid of and replace them with another being suitable for their financial ability.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 action leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 dramatic increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 the large amount of rubbish
exponentially
Rephrase
apply
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. Compared to the previous days, the mending of houseware, namely electronic fans, is not a common sight nowadays. In lieu of that, they will make a decision to buy a new one.
Hence
Linking Words
, the ease of discarding items to the environment is one of the main culprits contributing to a throw-away
society
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the justification of human activities creating a single-used
society
Use synonyms
 is widely acknowledged, it is comparatively essential to have equivalent solutions to deal with
this
Linking Words
 severe issue. Apparently, the authority should impose tax incentives in order to encourage residents to rebuy commodities from people who do not have usage demand.
For example
Linking Words
, When American people allocate their money to second-hand products,
tax
Add an article
the tax
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 will be applied to those items tremendously lower in comparison with that of newly-released products.
Thus
Linking Words
, taking
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 immediately plays a vital role in people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 so as to repel an unthrifty
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 abundant underlying roots are illustrated to prove that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern civilization is transferring into the throw-away community, there are
Correct your spelling
still
stil
Correct your spelling
still
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is logically structured with clear introductory and conclusive paragraphs. The main body should develop points that relate directly to the question.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the essay includes an unmistakable conclusion, finishing the arguments, or providing a summary of the points discussed to effectively signal closure to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Keep paragraphs and ideas clearly connected with cohesive devices and transition words to lead the reader through your argument in a natural and logical way. Too many abrupt topic changes can impact the essay's fluency.
task achievement
Develop each main point in a separate paragraph with enough detail to support the main idea and illustrate your point of view clearly.
task achievement
Ensure real-world, concrete examples are used to support your argument; they add validity to your points and help the reader understand the practical implications of your ideas.
task achievement
Be sure to fully respond to all components of the task, providing fully developed ideas and arguments. A strong conclusion adds to the task achievement by neatly encapsulating your stance and the essence of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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