IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it would be better for large companies in the industry to move to regional areas outside large urban cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantageous.

#people #companies #industry #move #areas #cities
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In today's swiftly developing society, whilst a number of individuals anticipate that gigantic corporations are obliged to
basing
Wrong verb form
base
show examples
 more in regional places, in the sense of evolving economics there
also
 and , others strongly believe that there is no need to do it owing to the necessity to confess a status of city. I firmly give credence to the point of relocating colossal
companies
 to cities with inferior importance for rapid development purposes.
To begin
 with, economics is a cornerstone of every single state which influences many people's lives
thus
 replacing huge offices in towns with fewer figures of economy to make it prosperous.
For instance
, in Russia, the IKEA organization moved to the less populous city - Ufa, opening
franchise
Correct article usage
a franchise
show examples
 there. Correspondingly, it grants new job vacancies for people, leading to
mitigation
Correct article usage
the mitigation
show examples
 of unemployment.
This
 is the reason why the economy is an auspicious virtue of moving big
companies
 in the industry to spots outside of enormous cities.
Similarly
, the following perk of repositioning large organisations in suburbs is aligned with reducing air contamination. It is undoubtedly that big
companies
 create many severe repercussions,
such
 as air pollution by releasing emissions. The splendid sample of it manifests in plenty of
companies
,
such
 as IKEA again. As far as the huge malls located in the suburbs of Ufa, the emissions rate was vigorously depleted.
This
 is why taking into consideration the question of
replacement
Correct article usage
the replacement
show examples
 of enterprises is crucial. To recap the aforementioned, I profoundly believe that the resettlement of large
companies
 to regional places can alleviate decently the residing of ordinary citizens.
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grammar
Avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity. For example, 'in the sense of evolving economics there also and , others strongly believe that there is no need to do it owing to the necessity to confess a status of city.' could be rephrased for better clarity.
content
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument presented and supports it logically.
content
Expand on your explanation of key points and examples to illustrate them more thoroughly.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and set up the essay well.
content
The essay addresses the key points of the question, such as economic benefits and reduction of air pollution.
content
The examples provided, such as IKEA moving to Ufa, are relevant and help to illustrate the points made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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