Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinemas. Others, say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology is increasing ,and many
people
are watching
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
from cellphones and computers.
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
think that
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
movie
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
are not enjoyable ,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if
people
need
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
from
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie
show examples
, they will go to the theatre is better.
This
essay will discuss both views and will give reasons.
To begin
with, the reason why someone
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
that
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
shows
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best idea.
The innovation
Correct article usage
Innovation
show examples
is rising so, they think that
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
movies from smartphone and computer are comfortable and safe.
In addition
, the price is not expensive.
Such
as the percentage between the years 2015 to 2020 of
people
who watched TV
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
from the
internet
have been growth. And researchers have been said that they believe that the number will sharply increase in the future.
Thus
, I think that the cause why
people
are watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
TV
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
it is comfortable, cost and safe.
On the other hand
, someone
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
that if
people
need a real feeling from
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie
show examples
, they should go to the cinema because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cinema has many material.
However
, I think that
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
is better ,and phones and computers have many functions to use
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so,
this
is a better choice.
To sum up
, I believe that
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
movies
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
phones and
tables
Correct your spelling
tablets
show examples
are comfortable ,and they have many
mode
Change to a plural noun
modes
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
watching them that why the number of
people
who watch movies online are increasing.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement clearly, while the conclusion should summarize your discussion and restate your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure that your ideas are organized logically throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the following sentences should support it, leading the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas between and within paragraphs. This helps to guide the reader through your argument in a clear and logical way, increasing cohesion.
Task Response
Address the prompt fully by discussing both views presented and giving your own opinion clearly and in detail. Make sure you respond to all parts of the question without omitting any aspect.
Task Response
Form clearer and more comprehensive ideas by giving more detailed explanations, reasons, and examples. This will make your essay richer and your arguments more convincing.
Task Response
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. Examples help to substantiate your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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