Private transport is creating problems for people. What are these problems and how we can solve this?

Transportation owned by an individual is starting to generate problems for people. The
problem
of private transport‌ is caused by SOVs and can result in different kinds of pollution. The possible solutions to
this
problem
will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, pollution is one of the biggest problems we face on earth today. These pollutions come in the form of sound, air, and sometimes water is polluted. The usage of private vehicles makes the situation more problematic. Harmful emissions from private car use, doing more harm than good. Every responsible habitant of
this
planet should make an effort to use more public transportation .Many metropolitans around the globe are already putting it into practice.
For instance
, over one-third of working Amsterdammers commute to and from work on a bike.
Secondly
, the harmful gases emitted from the use of cars and bikes cause various respiratory diseases. Children all over the world are being born with birth defects.
However
, we can take several measures to solve these issues. The simple solution to
this
problem
is making stricter laws. The government should pass laws banning a family from having more than one personal vehicle. Automatically, there will be a decrease in pollution and traffic.Every individual will be forced to take a bus or train. To give an instance, the council of Amsterdam has banned the driving of automobiles in the inner city.
To sum up
, in conclusion, individually owned vehicles should be controlled by the government by making them more expensive to afford so that the aforementioned
problem
and its probable consequences and be solved and avoided.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
The essay lacks a clear introductory sentence that directly addresses the question. Consider opening with a clear thesis statement that outlines your argument.
task achievement
While your main points are present, they are not fully developed. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by an explanation and a relevant example or evidence.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is somewhat organized, but transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow. Use cohesive devices to clearly link your paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and each performs its function effectively. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should summarize and restate the main points confidently.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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