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Writing Samples
Band 6

Things like puzzles, board games and pictures can contribute to a child’s development. What would you give a child to help him/her develop and why? Give details and examples in your explanation

It is widely believed that puzzles,board
games
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, and pictures play a vital in developing
children
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's analytical
skills
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.
However
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, these things are not sufficient to facilitate wholesome
development
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. I firmly believe that reading
books
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 and planning outdoor excursions can play a significant role in
children
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's all-round
development
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. By reading
books
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children
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 are able to develop their cognitive and linguistic
growth
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. As
books
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 contain a wide range of vocabulary, plots, narratives, characters, and genres, which enhances their comprehension
skills
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,
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apply
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 and cultivates imagination.
For instance
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, if a child is reading a book about fairytales, they are able to foster the imagination of a writer, enabling frontal lobe
development
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.
Moreover
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, they are
also
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 able to learn moral lessons from the inherent message hidden in the plots of these
books
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.
Furthermore
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, non-fiction
books
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 could spark curiosity about the world around them, potentially leading to a fondness for learning. Reading encourages critical thinking which promotes intellectual
growth
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. To cultivate physical, social and emotional
growth
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, exploration of the outdoors is essential.
Children
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 should engage in outdoor
games
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such
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 as skating, playing baseball, or building sandcastles to enhance their physical strength, which is essential for the vitality of the body.
Additionally
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, playing outdoor
games
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such
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 as baseball with a team can teach valuable social
skills
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.
For instance
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, to win a match all the players have to collaborate and communicate with each other, which could improve their social and interpersonal
skills
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.
Finally
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, interacting with nature can reduce cortisol levels, which
further
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 lowers stress levels,
thus
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 promoting mental well-being. In conclusion, Inarguably, puzzles, board
games
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, and pictures assist in the
development
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 of
children
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.
However
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, they are insufficient in promoting all-round
development
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. Incorporating
books
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 as a part of a hobby is essential to ensure cognitive, critical, and linguistic
growth
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.
Additionally
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, playing outdoor
games
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 can positively impact
children
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's mental well-being, social
skills
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, and physical strength.
Thus
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, fostering a reading habit and allowing
children
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 to participate in outdoor explorations could result in holistic
development
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.

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task achievement
Make sure each point is clearly backed up with examples for better understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly with linking words.
task achievement
Add a little more detail to your main points so they are fully developed.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and sets the stage for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have used a good range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures.
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