IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

“Some people believe that managers are responsible for the company's success, while others think various features of the organization play vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

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The debate over whether high-ranking executives are the primary drivers of a company’s
success
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 or if other factors play a more significant role remains contentious. Some argue that managers are crucial to an enterprise’s
success
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 because they can establish goals, efficiently manage labour, and foster a supportive work environment.
However
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, others believe that a company’s achievements are influenced by external conditions
such
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 as
market
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 dynamics, intense competition, and
employee
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 satisfaction.
This
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 essay will examine both viewpoints and offer a personal perspective.
To begin
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, it is evident that managers act as the guiding force in a company, responsible for setting clear and achievable objectives.
For instance
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, Nvidia, a leading manufacturer of video cards, targeted the gaming
market
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 by focusing on performance-to-price ratio products—a strategy initiated by its CEO.
This
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 demonstrates that when executives define a vision, employees can work collectively to fulfil it.
Additionally
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, efficient allocation of tasks is critical for enhancing workforce productivity. Studies indicate that managers often fail when they neglect
this
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 aspect.
Lastly
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, creating a comfortable and well-equipped workplace, including advanced technology and safety measures, fosters
employee
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 confidence and trust,
further
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 driving organizational
success
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.
Conversely
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, factors
such
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 as
market
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 conditions, competition, and
employee
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 satisfaction
also
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 significantly impact a company's
success
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.
For example
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, businesses operating in limited markets may struggle to sell their products, potentially leading to failure. Intense competition,
such
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 as prolonged discount campaigns, can destabilize rivals and even push them toward bankruptcy.
Moreover
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, offering inadequate salaries negatively affects
employee
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 morale and motivation, resulting in diminished contributions to crucial projects. In conclusion,
while
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 executives undeniably play a pivotal role in shaping a company’s
success
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, I firmly believe that external factors like
market
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 conditions, competitive pressures, and
employee
Use synonyms
 satisfaction are equally critical to an organization’s prosperity.

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relevant specific examples
Ensure that all examples used directly tie into and enhance the argument being made. While the Nvidia example is relevant, consider expanding on how specific managerial actions directly affected the company's market position.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, ensuring a comprehensive task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear overview and summarizing the main viewpoints effectively.
logical structure
There is a logical and smooth transition between points, ensuring the reader can easily follow the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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