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Writing Samples
Band 7

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Fossil fuel is considered a major source of produce
power
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 by many countries, nowadays.
However
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, other nations have been using alternative origins of
power
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 which are natural
sources
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as well as
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, wild and sun. In my point of view, it is a positive development and will discuss the reason why alternate
sources
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 are a boon.
To begin
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 with, fossil fuels are a non-renewable authority of
power
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 production because they cannot be reused if used once.
In other words
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, these fuels are being over-exploited by nations which will lead to complete destruction in the coming years.
Moreover
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, using non-renewable
sources
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 causes harm to the environment by burning steam in the atmosphere and decreasing the air quality. In the US,
For instance
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,
according to
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 the official report of the US
Energy
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 Administration, 76% of greenhouse emissions are
due to
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 burning fuels to produce electricity.
On the other hand
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, despite the higher costs of alternate
sources
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 of
power
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, it is cost-saving and more efficient as time goes by. The major advantage of renewable
energy
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 is they are eco-friendly.
In addition
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, these
sources
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 not only don't pollute the air quality but
also
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 produce clean and green gases with no wastage. Meanwhile, another merit of these
sources
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such
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 as solar and tidal, is their availability and as they are natural, they can be found in every geographical place. In conclusion, it is well said that every country should shift to using alternative
sources
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 of
energy
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.
Furthermore
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, the more you go through green life, the more the world becomes greener.
Finally
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, in my opinion, it is worthwhile to use renewable
energy
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 because they are both sustainable and environmentally friendly.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is logically structured by presenting clear and connected ideas. Each paragraph should convey a single idea and the sentences within should be linked coherently.
coherence cohesion
You should include an introduction and conclusion in your essay. The introduction sets out your position on the topic, and the conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion – this was done adequately.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed examples or explanations. While you have made an effort to do this, more concrete examples or data would enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
task achievement
Your response should fully address all parts of the task. You have made a reasonable attempt, but a more in-depth discussion, including potential drawbacks of alternative energy, would provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed clearly and developed comprehensively. Aim to present your points with greater clarity and detail to avoid vagueness, which can make your argument less compelling.
task achievement
Where possible, include examples that are specific and relevant to substantiate your claims. Doing so strengthens the impact of your argument and makes your essay more informative.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy sources
  • wind, solar, and hydroelectric power
  • sustainable solution
  • finite resources
  • inexhaustible
  • economic growth
  • renewable energy infrastructure
  • health benefits
  • respiratory diseases
  • energy independence
  • energy security
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