IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Artist need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Artist should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#artist #amount #freedom #creativity #thoughts
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There is an ongoing debate about whether
artists
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 require
freedom
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 regarding
ideas
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 generation or whether it is better to limit their
work
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 area. I strongly agree because the notion of
freedom
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 ensures creative worker maximize their
work
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 of
ideas
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 and
originality
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 of the thoughts that potentially entertain their
audiences
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.
To begin
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 with,
freedom
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 in the creative world serves
artists
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 to maximize their
work
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. Because creative thinkers
work
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 abstractly and do not intervene their
work
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 field helps them to focus entirely on achieving their goals.
Furthermore
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, limiting the area of art workers would result in ineffective results, especially regarding
ideas
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 generation.
For example
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, when comedians dictate to create a sketch in a very detailed narrative, it is more common if comedians are given a significant context
instead
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 of details.
Consequently
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, they tend to perform unnaturally, and the jokes that need to be delivered frequently fail to hit the laugh button among
audiences
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.
This
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 is because art workers need
freedom
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 in doing their
work
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, and giving the limitation essentially produces unexpected results.
Additionally
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, liberty among creative thinkers is necessary to ensure they succeed in pleasing their audience because of the
originality
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 and relevancy of their thoughts.
Although
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 structuring the ground play of an artist helps business players get their commitment, some wild
ideas
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 that potentially bring success are often produced in an unstructured atmosphere, where all the art players freely express what is on their minds.
Hence
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, the
originality
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 of the
ideas
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 ensures they can entertain
audiences
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 well.
For example
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, when in the movie-making process, an artist reads all the scripts.
On the other hand
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, the artist gives all the
freedom
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 to express their feeling and modify the text to make it more personal and suitable to their character.
Therefore
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, liberty in
artists
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 helps them nudge the notion of
originality
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, which leads to the success of entertaining their
audiences
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. In conclusion,
artists
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 have to be granted
freedom
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 in their
work
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 field. It helps to maximize the
work
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 outcome, and the idea's relevancy helps
artists
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 to succeed in
audiences
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' entertainment.
Submitted by elroivan on

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Introduction & Conclusion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion which is good practice. To enhance, try to create a more impactful thesis statement and concluding sentence that echo each other.
Supporting Main Points
Your main points are clear, but could be more effectively supported with a wider range of examples and explanations to strengthen your argument. Try to elaborate your points with more concrete examples or references.
Logical Structure
Ensure that your ideas follow a logical progression. While your essay maintains a good structure, transitional phrases and topic sentences can make the flow even smoother.
Complete Response
You provided a complete response to the prompt, but to improve, ensure that you address all parts of the task with equal development. Some points may require further elaboration to fully satisfy task demands.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Your ideas are clear, but aim to present them in a more comprehensive manner. To strengthen your essay, provide deeper analysis and more varied sentence structures.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to substantiate your claims. This will greatly enhance the persuasiveness of your essay. Make sure the examples are pertinent and well-integrated into your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • catalyst
  • unrestricted
  • innovation
  • censorship
  • stifle
  • artistic expression
  • ramifications
  • unfettered
  • ethical norms
  • offensive material
  • hate speech
  • culture
  • societal
  • regulate
  • suppression
  • artistic liberty
  • policies
  • culmination
  • ideologies
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