You have moved to another city but your bank has your old address and continues to send all communication there. Write a letter to your bank branch. In the letter, mention: Where have you moved to? What problem are you facing regarding the bank’s communication? What you want them to do regarding old communication already sent to the wrong address?

#city #bank #address #communication #branch #bank’s

Dear Sir/

Madam'

Correct your spelling

Madam

show examples

I am writing

this

letter regarding my all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

offical

Correct your spelling

official

letters as they

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

sent to

Add an article

the previous

show examples

address from

last

month onwards. Well, I am Navneet Kaur and my Bank Account number with Scotia is A123456899. I have moved from Toronto, M1X2D2 to 106 Kirby Avenue, Collingwood, ON, L9Y4C5. Actually, I tried to change my address online through the app

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

, unfortunately

show examples

, I was not

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

and I

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

not received any bank mail from November 1, 2023.

Moreover

, my debit card is getting expired

this

month and I think

that

Change the verb form

is also sent

show examples

also

send to my old location.

Furthermore

, I have received a few

complication

Change to a plural noun

complications

show examples

with my insurance payments as well. I request you to update my home address from Toronto to Collingwood. If my current branch is able to resend

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

all my

last

month

Change noun form

month's

show examples

mails to my new location

along with

the new debit card that will be a great help and I would really appreciate that.

Your

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

Sincerely, Navneet Kaur.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Tue Nov 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve clarity and logical structure within your letter, consider organizing the information more effectively. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, and the points should be expanded on in a logical order, ensuring seamless transitions between thoughts.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are mostly appropriate. However, the greeting could be enhanced by including an appropriate salutation, such as 'To whom it may concern,' if the recipient's name is unknown.

task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that you address all the points required by the prompt clearly and concisely. Expand on the issues faced due to the incorrect address more elaborately, like the impact on your daily banking activities and why receiving mail at your new address is crucial.

task achievement

To maintain a suitable writing tone, it's important to remain formal and polite. Your letter generally maintains this tone, but vigilance to keep consistency in formality is recommended throughout the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

164 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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At present times, the population of some countries include a relative number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?