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Writing Samples
Band 4

the diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station

the diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station
#electricity #power #station
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A hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
station
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 can generate electric
power
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 by using the
energy
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 flowing from
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level to
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 level. It works different functions in day and night. In the daytime,
water
Use synonyms
 in the high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
go
Change the verb form
goes
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 through the intake under the dam which is only open in
daytime
Add an article
the daytime
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.
Then
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
flow
Change the verb form
flows
show examples
 into the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
 in which there is a generator. The generator is operated by a reversible turbine that can transfer the
Use synonyms
water flowing
Add a hyphen
water-flowing
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 force to the mechanical force which is the
power
Use synonyms
 of
generator
Add an article
the generator
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. The generated electricity
then
Linking Words
 goes to the national grid through the
power
Use synonyms
 lines.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Change preposition
at
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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nighttime
Add an article
the nighttime
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, the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
 works in a reversed way. It pumps
water
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 from the low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 to
high-level
Correct article usage
the high-level
show examples
reservoir
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 to provide enough
water
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 for the
day time’s
Correct your spelling
daytime’s
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 work. The
water
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 is pumped by the same reversible turbines from
low-level
Add an article
the low-level
a low-level
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reservoir
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. So, the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
 actually consumes
energy
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 at night. But
that is
Linking Words
 in order to generate more
power
Use synonyms
 in the daytime. In conclusion, a hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
 can generate
power
Use synonyms
 based on the difference
height
Change preposition
in height
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
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 level. In
daytime
Add an article
the daytime
show examples
, it uses
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
water
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night, it transfers the
water
Use synonyms
 to create and store the
energy
Use synonyms
 for the next day.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, station, energy, water, reservoir with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Reservoir
  • Penstock
  • Turbine
  • Generator
  • Transformer
  • High voltage
  • Renewable energy
  • Kinetic energy
  • Potential energy
  • Power grid
  • Sustainable
  • Flow rate
  • Energy conversion
  • Hydraulic pressure
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