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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, There is a contention that
parents
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 should be penalized when their kids violate the law, given that they bear responsibility for their
children
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's actions. I completely agree with
this
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 viewpoint.
Firstly
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, mothers and fathers bear a legal obligation to supervise and care for their
children
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, and when a child violates the law, it may signify a lapse in parental duties.
For instance
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, if a minor is repeatedly involved in vandalism, authorities may investigate the child's home environment. If it is determined that the
parents
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 have neglected their duty to instil discipline and guide the juvenile's behaviour, the legal system could impose penalties on the
parents
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,
such
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 as fines or mandatory parenting courses.
This
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 example illustrates how legal repercussions for guardians can be a consequence of their failure to fulfil their legal obligations, emphasizing the importance of responsible parenting and ensuring a safe and nurturing environment for their offspring.
Furthermore
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, imposing penalties on
parents
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 of minors who engage in criminal activities may serve as a deterrent, influencing other caregivers to assume greater responsibility for their
children
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's behaviour.
This
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, in turn, could contribute to the prevention of future unlawful activities by kids, ultimately leading to a reduction in the
overall
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 crime rate. By emphasizing parental accountability for their child's actions, the legal system aims to convey a strong message that caregivers must actively participate in the upbringing of their youth, taking measures to deter them from involvement in criminal behaviours. In conclusion, I firmly contend that mothers and fathers should face consequences when their ones violate the law since they are held accountable for their
children
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's actions.
This
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 approach not only reinforces the importance of responsible parenting but
also
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 contributes to the
overall
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 safety and well-being of the community.

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task achievement
Task response was well-handled, with a clear opinion expressed throughout the essay. Further exemplification and a wider range of ideas will strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure of paragraphs is evident, but transitions could be smoother and sentence structures more varied to enhance readability. Ensure the introduction and conclusion are concise and reflective of the essay's body content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral accountability
  • juvenile delinquency
  • penal liability
  • rehabilitation
  • socio-economic issues
  • preventive measures
  • peer influence
  • legal responsibility
  • mental health issues
  • engaged in
  • fostering
  • conducive
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