We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits.
The tremendous advancement in technology is evident in most aspects of the human sphere, so much
that
people depend on it for running Correct word choice
so that
of
businesses , hospitals, detection of crimes and pilotings. Change preposition
apply
Also
, it is believed that computers will become quite crucial in other activities such
as education and daily living in nearby
future. In as much as many might argue that it has detrimental effects, love or loathe it, it has brought outstandingly genuine benefits to the world. I will discuss both views extensively in Correct word choice
the near
this
essay.
To begin
with, there is a forecast that I.T. will take full charge in
Change preposition
of
educational
system. Add an article
the educational
That is
, many academicians will completely depend on the use of computers for learning in schools, personal studies and solving academic assignments. For instance
, every child will be mandated to have a system on desk
for all classes and school events. Add an article
the desk
a desk
Additionally
, students more often than not, will fully delve into solely utilizing the soft copy of study materials. As a result
, libraries will have to sort means to be equipped with computer systems rather than books, as the use of hard copies will phase out in no time.
Furthermore
, the benefits of technology cannot be overemphasised, hence
the global completely
hope Change the word
complete
on
it in most areas Change preposition
for
such
as in businesses, health sectors, forensics etc, is justifiable as it is well deserved. To buttress this
, I.T. has not failed the world population, it rather presented more accurate and trustworthy outcomes through easy means. For example
, in health
sector, Add an article
the health
patients
medical histories are successfully documented on the systems so other licensed doctors can access Change noun form
patients'
patient's
these information
effectively, Change the determiner
this information
hence
decreasing the rate of either iatrogenic injuries or death resulting from delayed and inadequate information especially
in emergency settings. Add the comma(s)
, especially
This
development in hospitals is imperative and applauded by all doctors.
In conclusion, the use of laptops, gadgets, desktops, mobile phones, chips, cctv
and other technologies Correct your spelling
CCTV
are
on a surge, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
as well as
their importance and necessity in our daily activities especially in education. This
globalisation must be embraced and acknowledged without reservations or being weary
.Verb problem
fear
Submitted by find.love.ua on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay generally responds well to the task. However, you need to expand your discussion on the different areas where computers will be used in the future, providing more comprehensive and varied examples. Covering more dimensions of the topic will enrich your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of your essay could be improved. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there's a seamless transition between ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to better guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphs should be well-connected.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs need development. Spend more time fleshing out each idea to ensure they are fully supported and explained. Reorganize the content to avoid introducing too many ideas in a single paragraph.
task achievement
You have addressed the main aspects of the task prompt, discussing both the potential future uses of computers and the debate over their benefits.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the use of computers in hospitals and education, which strengthen your argument.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...