The charts show information about the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The charts show information about the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graphs illustrate the proportion of males and females employed in four distinct countries (Belgium, USA, Japan, Indonesia), and aged between 60-64 in 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
was slightly higher than
women
Use synonyms
in 1970.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
difference
Use synonyms
rose in 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
of people who fit
this
Linking Words
category decreased. In 1970, in the USA the
number
Use synonyms
of male
employers
Use synonyms
accounted for nearly 85%, and the
number
Use synonyms
of
women
Use synonyms
employers
Use synonyms
was slightly less at around 79%. But in 2000, the
number
Use synonyms
of employees went down, especially
women
Use synonyms
employees. When the total
number
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
employers
Use synonyms
only declined by 6% the total
number
Use synonyms
of
women
Use synonyms
dropped by almost 40%, making the
difference
Use synonyms
between
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
employers
Use synonyms
almost 40%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Belgium had a significant fall in the
number
Use synonyms
of
employers
Use synonyms
and a climb in the
difference
Use synonyms
between male and female
employers
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
of
women
Use synonyms
employers
Use synonyms
plunged by 50%,
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
's
employers
Use synonyms
decreased by 20%, making the total
number
Use synonyms
of male
employers
Use synonyms
almost 5 times as
women
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
difference
Use synonyms
between male and female
employers
Use synonyms
didn’t increase in Japan. Indeed, it declined from 20% to almost 0%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in Indonesia the
difference
Use synonyms
almost didn’t change, and the total
number
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
employed only dropped by 15%.
Submitted by abdullaevayt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, difference, number, employers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: