IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You ride a bicycle to work, but there is a problem with the parking. Write a letter to the manager of the Parking Management Company.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to draw your attention towards the issues faced by me at the parking
area
Use synonyms
. I am working as a cleaner at State Bank of India which is adjacent to your parking lot, thereby parking my bicycle on every weekday in
this
Linking Words
area
Use synonyms
.
However
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, I am encountering some difficulties in standing my bicycle there.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is no segregated lane for two-wheelers;
therefore
Linking Words
, it is difficult to find my bicycle amongst four-wheelers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many times, I find my vehicle to be laid off on the ground like someone has hit it.
Lastly
Linking Words
, my seat had scratches on it yesterday.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I have made a complaint already to your staff present there
whereas
Linking Words
 he seems nonchalant to it, thereby writing to you. I would like to request you to find prompt solutions to
above-mentioned
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned
show examples
 problems. I would appreciate it if you could guide your staff to solve the issues at ground level. Would it be possible to improve the hygienic conditions of
this
Linking Words
area
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? Since
this
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 is the only parking in
this
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area
Use synonyms
, many people heavily rely on your services which I hope to be improved in future. I am looking forward to a quick resolution. Yours faithfully, Amandeep Kaur

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task achievement
Although your letter effectively addresses the issue, it would benefit from a clear specific request or suggestion. For instance, you might ask for a dedicated bicycle parking area or more security to prevent damage.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of your letter is quite good, but there are some areas where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using transitional phrases more effectively would help to connect your points better.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single distinct idea. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and respectful, which is very appropriate for a letter to a manager.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are formal and appropriate for this type of communication.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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