An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

Huge
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A huge
The huge
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number of specialists, like doctors and professors are abandoning their own poor
nation
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nations
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to
work
in developed countries.
As a result
,
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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goals of the nation could be compromised. And so,
government
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the government
show examples
should facilitate individuals contributing more to an
economy
.
Firstly
,
professional
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professionals
show examples
such
as a teacher, would be creating future technicians, engineers, and other specialists, if that professional is not present in the future,
than
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then
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
would worsen and
thus
, productivity would plummet.
Thus
, the
country
would have to recruit foreign experts and pay handsomely to get them to
work
in the
country
.
As a result
,
economy
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the economy
show examples
of the
country
would worsen over time.
Subsequently
,
long term
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long-term
show examples
aims
such
as
to rectify
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rectifying
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
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account,
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
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income stability and full
employement
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employment
could be compromised.
For instance
, experts leaving Pakistan has caused companies and organisations to suffer heavy losses and
thus
have become
burden
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a burden
show examples
to the
economy
.
Nevertheless
, perks
such
as high salaries,
house
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housing
show examples
,
promotion
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promotions
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and
free-fuel
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free fuel
show examples
can tempt those individuals to stay in their home
country
and
work
here.
For example
,
Chinese
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the Chinese
show examples
government facilitates experts and
this
technique has worked
wonderfully-well
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wonderfully well
show examples
for them, as China is currently one of the biggest
exporter
Change to a plural noun
exporters
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of various goods.
To sum up
, Every individual is looking to achieve career advancement and by providing facilities to specialist individuals,
poorer
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the poorer
a poorer
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
can get them to stay and
work
for the
economy
Submitted by irazalalji on

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task achievement
The essay generally addresses the task, however, a clearer position could have been established in the introduction. Ensure that the thesis statement clearly outlines the problems and solutions to be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and the use of cohesive devices is limited, which hinders the logical flow. More varied and skillful use of these devices can greatly enhance coherence.
task achievement
Support for the main points is present but not fully developed. Include more specific details and real-world examples to substantiate the arguments and enhance the persuasiveness of the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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