Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The quest for a secure and fulfilling
career
throws two divergent paths – the
university
education and
job
experience
.
While
some advocate for the undeniable weight of a
university
degree in securing desirable positions, others endorse the crucial role of
experience
and sharpened soft
skills
. My opinion is that
job
experience
and soft
skills
are far more helpful in securing a fulfilling
career
. Those who support
university
education for a better
career
say that in an increasingly knowledge-driven economy, academic credentials remain a passport to entry for many fields. Specialized degrees equip individuals with advanced knowledge, analytical
skills
, and the ability to critically evaluate and innovate within their chosen domains. A research scientist,
for instance
, would require the theoretical foundation and meticulous training offered by a
university
programme to make groundbreaking discoveries and have a great
career
. Advocates of the experiential path point to the invaluable lessons learned from real-world work. Training programmes and volunteer initiatives offer opportunities to hone practical
skills
, build resilience, and develop a keen understanding of industry nuances. A young entrepreneur,
for instance
, may find the lessons learned through trial and error in launching a start-up far more valuable than textbook entrepreneurship concepts.
Additionally
, soft
skills
, from communication and teamwork to adaptability and problem-solving, flourish in the dynamic environment of real-world challenges, often exceeding the reach of traditional classroom settings. In my opinion,
university
graduates may be armed with specialized knowledge to get a
job
, but with honed soft
skills
and real-world
experience
, their counterparts
also
emerge as formidable candidates. Honed soft
skills
and
job
experience
often offer avenues of
career
options that a simple degree fails to offer. In conclusion, even though both
experience
and
university
education hold undeniable value in the equation of
career
success, the key to securing a "good
job
" and building an enviable
career
lies in choosing to gain soft
skills
and practical
skills
.
Submitted by angelacalcaterra46 on

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coherence cohesion
While you've done an excellent job outlining both viewpoints and providing a clear opinion, ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly by using additional linking words and phrases. This will improve the overall coherence and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Though your ideas are well-presented, try to offer a bit more depth in the examples you provide. More detailed examples will further strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly delineate your position on the subject matter.
task achievement
Your essay is very comprehensive and addresses both views related to university education and job experience quite thoroughly.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, such as the research scientist and young entrepreneur, which enriched your essay's argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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