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Writing Samples
Band 7

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
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The quest for a secure and fulfilling
career
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 throws two divergent paths – the
university
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 education and
job
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experience
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.
While
Linking Words
 some advocate for the undeniable weight of a
university
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 degree in securing desirable positions, others endorse the crucial role of
experience
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 and sharpened soft
skills
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. My opinion is that
job
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experience
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 and soft
skills
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 are far more helpful in securing a fulfilling
career
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. Those who support
university
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 education for a better
career
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 say that in an increasingly knowledge-driven economy, academic credentials remain a passport to entry for many fields. Specialized degrees equip individuals with advanced knowledge, analytical
skills
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, and the ability to critically evaluate and innovate within their chosen domains. A research scientist,
for instance
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, would require the theoretical foundation and meticulous training offered by a
university
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 programme to make groundbreaking discoveries and have a great
career
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. Advocates of the experiential path point to the invaluable lessons learned from real-world work. Training programmes and volunteer initiatives offer opportunities to hone practical
skills
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, build resilience, and develop a keen understanding of industry nuances. A young entrepreneur,
for instance
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, may find the lessons learned through trial and error in launching a start-up far more valuable than textbook entrepreneurship concepts.
Additionally
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, soft
skills
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, from communication and teamwork to adaptability and problem-solving, flourish in the dynamic environment of real-world challenges, often exceeding the reach of traditional classroom settings. In my opinion,
university
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 graduates may be armed with specialized knowledge to get a
job
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, but with honed soft
skills
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 and real-world
experience
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, their counterparts
also
Linking Words
 emerge as formidable candidates. Honed soft
skills
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 and
job
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experience
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 often offer avenues of
career
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 options that a simple degree fails to offer. In conclusion, even though both
experience
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 and
university
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 education hold undeniable value in the equation of
career
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 success, the key to securing a "good
job
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" and building an enviable
career
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 lies in choosing to gain soft
skills
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 and practical
skills
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.
Submitted by angelacalcaterra46 on

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coherence cohesion
While you've done an excellent job outlining both viewpoints and providing a clear opinion, ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly by using additional linking words and phrases. This will improve the overall coherence and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Though your ideas are well-presented, try to offer a bit more depth in the examples you provide. More detailed examples will further strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly delineate your position on the subject matter.
task achievement
Your essay is very comprehensive and addresses both views related to university education and job experience quite thoroughly.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, such as the research scientist and young entrepreneur, which enriched your essay's argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
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