The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.”
As the world becomes
well adapted
to globalization and modernization, Add a hyphen
well-adapted
the
crime rates are Correct article usage
apply
also
soaring than never before which results in a drastic increase in the population in the
Correct article usage
apply
prisons
. To diminish the rate of crimes
in society, some argue that prison is the ultimate solution, and others contrarily, suggest that community services
would be more appropriate. Both of the aforementioned will be discussed by elaborating on the negative sides involved with the influences that will be obtained in prisons
and the moral benefits of social services
.
On one hand, some believe that captivity is the key to be
mitigating Unnecessary verb
apply
crimes
. Indeed, capturing criminals
and keeping them in a cramped room will not facilitate reducing the crimes
. In opposite to that, individuals who went astray due to
the circumstances would acquire exposure to the vast society inundated with crime lords. This
environment even exacerbates the persons who committed
minor Wrong verb form
commit
crimes
. For instance
, if an adolescent commits a little crime such
as theft or a violation of road rules, he should be dealt with distinctly rather than placing him in jail. So that he could get an opportunity to become more obedient than before.
On the other hand
, community services
will do better rather than keeping them in prisons
. As mentioned earlier, individuals who committed crimes
due to
their circumstances should be provided an opportunity to become a good-persons
. Correct your spelling
persons
This
is where social services
play a vital role. When the
Correct article usage
apply
criminals
undergo social service, such
as cleaning the
colleges, painting Correct article usage
apply
the
libraries, and other social service activities, they Correct article usage
apply
would
probably get a huge time to think about their mistakes and they realize to never make them again.
Verb problem
apply
To conclude
, although
prisons
are designed to house criminals
, society should be more focused on mitigating the crimes
. This
can be achieved by deputing criminals
who committed minor crimes
to the
community Correct article usage
apply
services
rather than putting them up in jails.Submitted by harini93.ind on
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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and outlines your intentions for the essay without too much generalization about crime rates or the changing world.
Coherence/Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to create a clear logical progression between ideas, but be wary of over-reliance on certain phrases. Aim for a more balanced use of conjunctions and topic-related vocabulary.
Task Achievement
Expand your main points with specific, detailed examples to illustrate your arguments. This makes for a more convincing essay that adequately addresses the task.
Conclusion
Develop your conclusion more thoroughly by summarizing your key points and stating your balanced view on the issue. Avoid introducing new ideas or generalized statements in the conclusion.