IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Disruptive school students have negative impact on their studies . Students are noisy and disobedient should grouped together and teaching separately. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is a dilemma about how schools should teach disobedient and noisy
students
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. Whilst some people think that all
students
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 should be taught together, I believe that disobedient
students
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 must be taught separately from normal
students
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 because they are suffering from them. On the one hand, all
students
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 have the right to
study
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 where they want to
study
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 and the administration of schools can not just separate them into groups by their behaviour. It is a kind of discrimination and
this
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 can cause some problems.
For example
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,
students
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 who are studying in a "bad" group will not change their behaviour and will not
study
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 properly because all
students
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 in
this
Linking Words
 group are similar and there is not a good example to follow.
On the other hand
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, bad
students
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 are often disturbing and because of them, normal
students
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 who want to learn and
study
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 in school are suffering. Disruptive school
students
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 often bring so many troubles
that is
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 disturbing to get proper education for obedient regular
students
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.
For instance
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, they interfere with the lecture and get all the attention of the classroom causing them not to understand the course. And
at the end
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 of the day, they are just like an obstacle in the way to education. In conclusion, despite the fact that all
students
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 have the right to choose where to
study
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, I think that the impact of disobedient
students
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 is more worth paying attention to. So
that is
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 why I think that the disruptive
students
Use synonyms
 should be taught separately from the others.

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which satisfies the minimum organizational requirements. However, it would benefit from a clearer and more logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the supporting sentences should be more developed.
coherence cohesion
There is some repetition of ideas and vocabulary, showing a lack of range in language use and linking words. To improve cohesion, use a greater variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more fluidly within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by stating your opinion and providing reasons. However, the response could be more fully developed. Present more elaborated arguments and include more relevant, specific examples to support your points. This will demonstrate an ability to discuss ideas in detail and lead to a higher task achievement score.
task achievement
Your essay lacks clear, comprehensive ideas. The main points should be more thoroughly explained and paragraphs should be expanded with further details and examples. This will enhance clarity and show that you can discuss issues comprehensively.
task achievement
The use of examples in your essay is minimal and they are not fully developed to support your argument effectively. It is important to include relevant, specific examples in each body paragraph that clearly illustrate your main points. This will provide concrete evidence to back up your arguments and increase your task achievement score.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disruptive behavior
  • academic performance
  • educational environment
  • specialized teaching methods
  • behavioral management
  • disciplinary measures
  • psychological support
  • emotional support
  • peer influence
  • inclusivity
  • stigma
  • comprehensive approach
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