IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table show where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table show where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #show #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table chart illustrates the
Use synonyms
bugdet
Correct your spelling
budget
 of police in one area of Britain.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the pie graph shows how the money was spent in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2017 and 2018. The data has been calibrated in terms of
millions
Use synonyms
 and
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the police
Use synonyms
bugdet
Correct your spelling
budget
 has been increased in 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the least amount was spent on technology.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, in 2017 the police
Use synonyms
bugdet
Correct your spelling
budget
 in
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 government was 175.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, but
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 showed a slight increase in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other sources
such
Linking Words
 as grants have the same number of
Use synonyms
bugdet
Correct your spelling
bugs
 38
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 cost was 304.7
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 318.6
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both years. Moving
further
Linking Words
, the highest amount was spent on
salaries
Correct article usage
the salaries
show examples
 of officers and staff in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both given years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the least cost was
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
 in technology in 2017.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
building
 and transport share the same proportion of expenditure 17% in 2017 and 2018.
Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bugdet, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • fiscal year
  • government grants
  • local taxes
  • police force
  • patrol division
  • detective units
  • traffic control
  • administration expenses
  • operational costs
  • capital expenditure
  • revenue streams
  • expenditure distribution
  • financial resources
  • public safety
  • crime prevention
  • budgetary constraints
  • funding shortfall
  • budget surplus
  • financial planning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: