Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.

Recently ,
road
traffic
accidents
have become an overwhelming issue in public
safety
.There is a belief that it is better to punish strictly those who are driving badly
while
some
people
hold the idea that to take other effective measures
instead
.In my perspective, it is worth punishing for unsafe driving. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and try to draw some conclusions.
Road
traffic
accidents
not only affect the community but
also
the state. Recent studies have found that the government had to pay annually , a huge cost on health related to
road
traffic
accidents
.
Consequently
,
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
the lives of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
and being disabled with restricted activities of daily living are the negative impacts which affect the economy of the country.
hence
, if
people
are punished for the offences they try to follow the security options their selves as much as possible.
On the other hand
,
although
the government has introduced a set of rules and regulations on
road
safety
, most
people
are unaware.
Therefore
, it is necessary to hold awareness programmes,
advertisement
Replace the word
advertise
show examples
and display
safety
precautions and sign posts in public areas.
For instance
,
traffic
light
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
and
traffic
signs play a major role in the
safety
of both drivers
as well as
pedestrians.So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, the occurrence of
traffic
accidents
can be controlled to some extent. In conclusion, by launching punishments and fines, both drivers and pedestrians can be controlled and it is the responsibility of the government to enhance the awareness of the public.
Thus
, I strongly suppose that strict punishments for driving offences may lead to minimising
traffic
accidents
.
Submitted by udesudeshikakalpani11 on

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coherence cohesion
Refine your essay's structure by presenting a clear thesis statement early on and ensuring each paragraph develops a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring clear connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use discourse markers effectively.
task achievement
Provide specific, detailed examples to support your points. Vague references to studies and general statements need concrete evidence.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task. Discuss both views and your own opinion throughout the essay, not just at the beginning and end.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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