IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The crime rate has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions to this problem

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climate
Use synonyms
 plays
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important role
Change preposition
in
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human life. Nowadays,
its
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it's
it is
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 being observed that
its
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it's
it is
show examples
being
Change the form of the verb
been
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 changing rapidly. Because of,
unwareness
Correct your spelling
unawareness
awareness
 and
excacive
Correct your spelling
excessive
exclusive
use
Use synonyms
 of
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem can be
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 by advertising and
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness. In the following essay,
i
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I
show examples
 will elaborate more about
this
Linking Words
. first of all, people do not know about the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of
climate
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change
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
, they
use
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 heavy equipment for mining oil,
golds
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gold
show examples
 etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a family they have 2 or 3 cars
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of that they
use
Use synonyms
 more oil which is not good for the
climate
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furthermore
Linking Words
, they cut
tree
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trees
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for building
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to build
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there
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their
show examples
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 which can impact badly
on
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
.
Accesesive
Correct your spelling
Excessive
use
Use synonyms
 of modern technology is a reason for
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 serious issue can be controlled by taking some serious steps Farmost, the Government should spread awareness about
the
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apply
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climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 and motivate communities about
Correct article usage
the modarate
show examples
modarate
Correct your spelling
moderate
use
Use synonyms
 of technology
as well as
Linking Words
donnot
Correct your spelling
do not
 cut trees. Another One is,
common
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the common
a common
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 nation should
aware
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be aware
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 of the using cars, bikes and electricity
Linking Words
this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
 can
be
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be used
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 in a
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 way so, they must
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
using
usuing
Correct pronoun usage
usuing them
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a family
use
Use synonyms
 one car
instead
Linking Words
 of two they can save money
as well as
Linking Words
fual
Correct your spelling
full
fuel
. In conclusion, we should
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 and
what ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
 we can we have to do it
otherwise
Linking Words
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 decades later winter will become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
hotter and summer will become
more
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apply
show examples
hotter. Future
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
generations
 cannot do anything properly because of
this
Linking Words
. By taking
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 steps it can be controlled in a small ratio but
this
Linking Words
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 can
bigger
Add a missing verb
be bigger
show examples
 if mass people
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the impacts.

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task achievement
It is essential to stay on topic throughout your essay. The prompt was about crime rates, but your essay discussed climate change. Make sure to address the task directly that you are given to show task achievement. This means discussing the reasons for increased crime rates and suggesting solutions, which was the original essay question you were presented with.
coherence cohesion
Your response shows a need for improvement in logical structuring. The essay should begin with an introduction that addresses the question, followed by logically ordered paragraphs that tackle specific aspects of the topic, and conclude with a summary of your points and restatement of your position. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and present your thesis and summarise your main points, respectively. It is important to keep these parts of your essay focused and relevant to the topic. Each paragraph should also include relevant examples to support your points. Avoid unrelated examples or generic statements that do not add depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dramatic increase
  • economic factors
  • social inequalities
  • educational opportunities
  • glamorization
  • family structures
  • community bonds
  • proliferation
  • organized crime
  • ineffective law enforcement
  • judicial systems
  • impunity
  • job creation
  • vocational training
  • resilience
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • media campaigns
  • preventative measures
  • deterrent
What to do next:
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