The crime rate has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions to this problem

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
climate
plays
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important role
Change preposition
in
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
human life. Nowadays,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
being observed that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
being
Change the form of the verb
been
show examples
changing rapidly. Because of,
unwareness
Correct your spelling
unawareness
awareness
and
excacive
Correct your spelling
excessive
exclusive
use
of
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
this
problem can be
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
by advertising and
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness. In the following essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will elaborate more about
this
. first of all, people do not know about the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of
climate
change
although
, they
use
heavy equipment for mining oil,
golds
Fix the agreement mistake
gold
show examples
etc.
For instance
, in a family they have 2 or 3 cars
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of that they
use
more oil which is not good for the
climate
furthermore
, they cut
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
for building
Change preposition
to build
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
which can impact badly
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
change
.
Accesesive
Correct your spelling
Excessive
use
of modern technology is a reason for
climate
change
.
on the other hand
,
this
serious issue can be controlled by taking some serious steps Farmost, the Government should spread awareness about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
change
and motivate communities about
Correct article usage
the modarate
show examples
modarate
Correct your spelling
moderate
use
of technology
as well as
donnot
Correct your spelling
do not
cut trees. Another One is,
common
Add an article
the common
a common
show examples
nation should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of the using cars, bikes and electricity
this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
can
be
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
use
in a
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
way so, they must
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of
Correct your spelling
using
usuing
Correct pronoun usage
usuing them
show examples
.
For example
, if a family
use
one car
instead
of two they can save money
as well as
fual
Correct your spelling
full
fuel
. In conclusion, we should
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
and
what ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
we can we have to do it
otherwise
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
decades later winter will become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
hotter and summer will become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
hotter. Future
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
generations
cannot do anything properly because of
this
. By taking
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
steps it can be controlled in a small ratio but
this
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
can
bigger
Add a missing verb
be bigger
show examples
if mass people
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the impacts.
Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
It is essential to stay on topic throughout your essay. The prompt was about crime rates, but your essay discussed climate change. Make sure to address the task directly that you are given to show task achievement. This means discussing the reasons for increased crime rates and suggesting solutions, which was the original essay question you were presented with.
coherence cohesion
Your response shows a need for improvement in logical structuring. The essay should begin with an introduction that addresses the question, followed by logically ordered paragraphs that tackle specific aspects of the topic, and conclude with a summary of your points and restatement of your position. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and present your thesis and summarise your main points, respectively. It is important to keep these parts of your essay focused and relevant to the topic. Each paragraph should also include relevant examples to support your points. Avoid unrelated examples or generic statements that do not add depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dramatic increase
  • economic factors
  • social inequalities
  • educational opportunities
  • glamorization
  • family structures
  • community bonds
  • proliferation
  • organized crime
  • ineffective law enforcement
  • judicial systems
  • impunity
  • job creation
  • vocational training
  • resilience
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • media campaigns
  • preventative measures
  • deterrent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: